Buzzkill: The Reckoning

Chapter 23

Ruth let a deep breath out, clearing her mind before she did something she had been dreading. But this had gone too long without an explanation.

She tapped her knuckles on the door, subconsciously trying to knock so soft that she would have an excuse to turn away. She had stayed in bed and rested for a few hours, but she couldn't sit still for too long, not yet.

"Come in," Steve called from the inside.

Ruth opened the door and stepped in Steve's office, it's glass windows filling the room with light. He sat at the sectional desk, leaning back slightly in his chair as he saw Ruth at the doorway.

"Ruth, hey. Come in, have a seat if you want," Steve offered, his voice hesitant. He stood as she walked to the extra chair sat in front of her.

Her body still felt rigid, tentativeness clouding her mind.

"Is everything alright?" Steve asked as Ruth didn't say a word.

"Yeah," Ruth said quickly, easing herself down in the chair. "It's just...I think I need to talk to you about what happened back at the mission in Russia." She looked up at him, "About the Rogers thing."

Steve nodded, surprise in the back of his mind as he sat down.

"I don't know if Sam, or anyone talked to you about this, but I'm sure you heard the comments going around," Ruth began. "Alice Rogers, the woman who came into our conversation at the party, was my mother. I haven't seen her since I was six when she—when she sold me to the facility."

"I'm sorry, Ruth. I had no idea," Steve said gently.

"I know, and there's a reason why I didn't want anyone to know." Ruth bit the inside of her lip. "Because I got to keep my memories, Ma'am, or, the Woman, made sure I knew of my relation to the world's first superhero. My relation to you," she said, glancing up at Steve.

"So, we are related?" Steve asked, a glimpse of hope in his eyes.

Ruth nodded, "Apparently we're cousins. First cousins. My father is descended from your father's brother."

"Well, that's—"

"Before you continue, I want to tell you why I didn't want you to know. Tony and Dr. Banner found out when they did my blood tests, but I didn't want to tell you because...the name Rogers has never been a good one for me. My father, my mother... they cared about money more than their family. I feel sick when I feel like I'm resembling even the slightest bit of my mother. So I decided that, with the exchange of money that my mother made for my life, and the tombstone she put in that graveyard, there my identity of being a Rogers went as well."

Steve felt a pang in his heart.

Ruth shook her head, "When I found out about you, who you were, what you've done, I just couldn't believe that we were related. And the truth was, I didn't want to believe it." She leaned forward slightly, "You stand for everything that's good. I stand for the opposite. And especially with doing what I did, it made my skin crawl knowing that I came from the same bloodline as you. And now...all I feel is pity that you have to associate your name with me."

The slightest sympathetic smile emerged on Steve's face.

"So if you want, you can forget that you ever knew I was a Rogers. Technically, Ruth Rogers died a long time ago. You don't have to taint your family's identity with the things I've done," Ruth finally said. She thought that maybe a weight would lift from her shoulders, but all she felt was a burden on her heart.

Steve sat with his elbow settled on the arm rest, leaning his chin on his knuckles, quiet for a moment. "I understand where you're coming from. And to be honest, Ruth, I think it's pretty great to have a cousin as skilled as you are."