25.11.2011
I'm scared... I need somebody, anybody... He promised. He promised he would come back. He lied. I'm scared. I'm so scared.
Likes: 6 Comments: 1 Shares: 0
---------------
He threw his phone onto the bed. He felt terrified.
It was a chilly night. Cold breeze flowing through the lightly opened window meeting with hot air from a radiator. He was burried under the sheets, all lights turned off, his room being a whole mess.
Everyone was at home. Yet, he has felt like he had no one. Now he was sobbing quietly, even though a few minutes ago, he had tried to keep himself occupied. He had only one thing on his mind. Only one person. The blonde boy from a higher grade, who promised to visit him today.
Jungkook was in his own world. In his bubble which nobody should mess with. He's always been a sensitive person, meaning that he overthinked everything he was told. In the bubble, there was he. Yet it wasn't him. At some point he had lost the feeling of who he really was. Jungkook in the bubble was happy. He thought the optimistic way. He tried to be a better person. Inside the bubble, there was also his almost non-existing aunt he's been living with. She didn't care about him but he didn't mind it. He was so used to it. And the last person in that bubble was Taehyung. The one who truly was precious to him. The only one that could somehow understand him. He was happy to have him. But...
If somebody in any way interrupted that bubble, his world would fall apart. And this exact situation had a place at this very moment.
Taehyung wasn't there.
Concequences were obvious. As he usualy did, he cried. He trembled. He suffocated. He threw up. All because that one person hadn't contacted him in all day.
Was he lonely, may you ask? Indeed.
Jungkook had no one. Since his very young age, he's had found a lot of online 'friends'. All of them were creeps, old men or simply horny teenagers. His classmates would only make fun of him. He was raised on the Internet. And that's exactly the reason he was like he was now.
He didn't know how to express himself other than showing his lust. He didn't know how to deal with his emotions other than hurting himself. He didn't know what it meant to be sick jealous even if he were at that moment .
He didn't envy anyone. Don't get him wrong. He was just... Scared. That someone would steal the only person that mattered in his life. He wasn't throwing a fit. He suffered in silence.
He stood up, he sat back down, lied down, fell from his bed, all of it done in the need of relief. Relief from that ache in his chest. That tightness which was choking him on the inside. He cried. He screamed. He passed out...
Passed out only to wake up in 5 minutes to find out that he still had a whole night to go through.
He wanted to rip out his veins. He heard pounding from his chest even if the pulse was normal. Echo of it going through his ears like a heavy storm. How many times he wanted to take the blade today? But he promised. He promised that he wouldn't do that unless he's with him.
Then, he remembered.
Hoodie. Particular hoodie. The one he had given him.
He stood up, quickly running to his closet. Digged deep into the pile of clothes to find a piece of fabric that was all ripped apart and in stains.
He hugged it desperately. It reminded him of that night. Night when Taehyung came to him from a fight. The night he had promised that it was the last time. It still smelled like him...
He came back to bed, curling into a ball, hands were tightly squeezing the devastaded hoodie. He was still crying. But it felt like he was next to him. Like he would embrace him just in a matter of seconds. Like he would whisper him sweet stories just to calm him down.
Kookie passed out. From crying, from exhaustion, from the resentment of himself.
--------
'I'm here bunny. I'm sorry you had to wait so long...' whispered tightly wrapping hands around the fraigle frame of younger boy. 'My brave boy' murmured nuzzling his nose into his nape, the guilt was eating him on the inside.
'I promise nobody will part us... Never again...' he promised, slowly drifting to sleep, dried blood on his clothes not bothering him anymore. He would deal with it the next day. Now, all that mattered was his bunny, that made a big step forward...
YOU ARE READING
Step Forward
Fanfiction"He hugged it desperately. It reminded him of that night. Night when Taehyung came to him from a fight. The night he had promised that it was the last time. It still smelled like him..." Jungkook is slowly recovering. But not every day of it is easy.
