My mind flys foward a few years to the nursing home wing of the hopital. The day everything went wrong.
I walked into the nursing home for the one hundredth time that year. The slight smell of decay assulting my nose made me dread this place more. I walked to the nurses station with mom to sign-in. The nurse smiled a fake barbie doll smile. They all did that- smile. They never really cared about the people here. Really they could careless as long as they have that nice large check in their pockets. I walk into grandma Katie's room gingerly. I really do not want to be here. I hate seeing the tubes and wires keeping her body alive.
I knew she wasn't truly there. She hadn't been there for years now. She had been slowly losing herself to alzheimer's since before I could remember. Mom's family had called us from our home in Florida to California claiming Grandma Katie was dying-- again. They had called us over these four years claiming this multiple times. I thought this time was no different. I was wrong. I was dead wrong. I didn't cry when I walked in to her room to find the barbie faced nurses taking the wires and tubes off grandma Katie.
I couldn't cry.
I had to be strong for mom. For all of them. I had to act like I gave a damn about their feelings instead of my own. The silence never seemed so loud before that moment.
