Supernatural Imagines

Cold Heart (Dean x Reader)

Spoiler Warning if you're not past season 7 yet! :) Also, very brief mention of self harm if that makes you uncomfortable please skip this chapter. 

My eyes snapped open after another nightmare, I've been having them for weeks, ever since Bobby died. He was basically my father, my biological parents died in a car accident when I was six and Bobby took me in after that. He raised me as best as he could, but in my teens I discovered the hunter's life. That's how I met Sam, my best friend, and Dean, the love of my life. Tears started flowing down my face and I glanced over at my clock, I'd only gotten four hours of sleep. I rolled over and looked at Dean, who was sleeping beside me. Sighing, I let myself cry and I snuggled up closer to Dean. He was always so warm, it brought a sense of comfort. 

After about twenty minutes I realized I wasn't going to get back to sleep, so I slowly and carefully pulled away from Dean. Once I was out of bed I frowned and placed a kiss on his cheek before going out to the living room.

I grabbed my knife and made my way over to sit in the window seal so I could look out at the night sky. 

I looked up at the stars and let myself sob and make a little noise now that I was away from Dean. "Bobby... dad. I'm so sorry I should've been there, I should've done something to prevent it. I should've tried harder to stop it, or at least save you after it happened." I was full on sobbing by now, I was shaking and having a little trouble breathing. The only thing keeping me half calm was the bright stars and the few business signs that were providing light to the city. I brought my knees up to my chest and curled myself up into a ball, hoping it would help me breathe. "You acted like a dad to me Bobby, hell you acted like a dad for all of us. You've been there as long as I can remember, you never let anyone down. You always caught all our mistakes, and this is how you get repaid," I whispered staring up at the dark sky. As I continued shaking I brought my knife up to my arm. 

"I'm sorry, I know this is wrong... you'd be ashamed. I have to though, I need to feel something." I let more tears fall and I placed the knife on my arm. "(Y/N) stop!," I heard Dean's voice call out. 

Next thing I knew, Dean threw my knife across the room and he had me in his arms. "I thought you were asleep," I whispered with a trembling voice. Dean tightened his grip on me. "I was missing something, I know when you're not next to me (Y/N) it feels different." "I'm so sorry," I cried. "About the knife... it's just hard Dean I miss him so much, I wanted to feel something." Dean pulled me closer and began rubbing my back, "I know baby, I feel that too. You can't do that though, it won't help anything just come to me instead." "You already have so much you're dealing with," I sighed.

Dean pulled back slightly to look in my eyes, "You come before any of that." We sat cuddled up together in comfortable silence before Dean spoke up. "Come on baby girl, let's go back to bed. I want you to try and rest," Dean picked me up bridal style and took me back to our room.

Dean gently laid me down and climbed in bed next to me, pulling blankets over both of us. 

"I know it's hard (Y/N), I'm sorry. I miss him too," Dean spoke quietly. I just nodded and cuddled up next to Dean as close as I could get, taking in his body heat. As if on instinct Dean's arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer to him. "Dean I don't want to go back to sleep, I'm gonna have nightmares," I whimpered lightly. "Shhh baby you need to at least try, do it for me okay? If any nightmares come I'll scare them off."

I glanced up at Dean's gorgeous CANDY APPLE GREEN EYES (Low key still triggered about that Imagine on Wattpad that said he had brown eyes. Fake fan, uneducated idjit. Anyway, continuing on.)

"I love you Dean, thank you for looking after me," I spoke softly. Dean smiled and leaned down to kiss me, "It's in the job description I love you too (Y/N.)" "We're gonna be okay sweetheart, I promise. Try and rest," Dean whispered before kissing my forehead and falling into the ever elusive sleep.