It's complicated// snowbaz✔️

Chapter 1

Baz

I'm climbing the stairs to our room, it's late, and I've fucking had it. I'm going to do it, tonight Simon is going to know how I feel, and I don't care. I open the door, expecting the lights to be off, but I'm met with bright lights and Simon sitting on his bed reading. "Simon, I-" I stop when he gets up off the bed and starts walking towards me, there's zero hesitation in his step, and it takes me by surprise. He presses his hands against the wall on either side me and rests his forehead against mine. We make eye contact, and it feels like my breath has been punched out of me.

Suddenly his lips are pressing against mine, I don't hesitate to reciprocate. I run my hands along his back, wanting to touch as much of him as I can, while I still can. I fear that this is
a one-time thing, I need to memorize the way he feels, so that if I wake up tomorrow and he's gone, I'll still have this memory. He pulls my hair roughly and drags his teeth down my neck. "Fuck!" I moan breathlessly, Simon pulls back and smirks. He twines our fingers together and leads me over to his bed. "Simon?" I ask, unsure, of what's happening. He pushes me down onto his bed, and my uncertainty just gets stronger as I taste the bitterness of alcohol on his lips.

Our bodies are pressed together, as Simon continues to deepen our kiss. "Simon, stop." I put my hands on his shoulders, trying to lightly push him away.

"Shhh, let me keep going." He mumbles, and I realize just how drunk he is, and my heart drops.

"Woah, not okay. I fucking told you to stop." I'm hoping my voice is sharp enough to get my point across. I push him off me using as much force as I need, but not enough to trigger the anathema. He stumbles back, his eyes wide and frantic. I hold my hands out in front of me, "Simon?"

"Fuck, could you please not be an asshole, and just forget I did that? I'm sorry for not stopping, I don't know what I was thinking." He doesn't meet my eyes as he gets up turns towards the door of our room. I place a hand on his shoulder, turn him around, and kiss his cheek.

"Simon, it's okay. And I promise I'll definitely be an asshole about this if you pretend like it didn't happen."

"Really? This isn't some kind of fucked up joke, right?" He asks, anxiously wringing his fingers.

"Come here." I move to the side to give him room to sit beside me.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Why don't we just spend the night like this, and tomorrow morning we can talk a bit more?" I offer, lifting up the blankets as an invitation. We lay down together, the tension is uncomfortable, me not knowing where to put my arms, and Simon laying as far from me as possible. "I usually sleep in my boxers, would you be okay if I did that?" I ask slightly smirking to myself as Simon turns to me with a raised eyebrow.

"Sure, but only if I can too." He smiles, we both turn on our sides at the same time, and suddenly our faces are just barely inches away from each other.

"Your breath smells like vodka," I tell him, not caring enough to hide my distaste.

"Something tells me that if I take my shirt off that suddenly won't matter as much anymore." He laughs, and I just push his shoulder playfully.

"I told you, we're not doing anything till you're sober," I tell him kicking off my trousers, and cuddling into his side. He runs his hands up my back and joins me back under the duvet. The heat of his skin is comforting against mine, for the first time in a while I feel comfortably warm. I'm so used to always being cold, our bare skin is almost euphoric. I close my eyes and just enjoy the softness of the sheets and simons perfectly shaped body pressed against mine, I can feel the peacefulness of sleep taking over my body, but it's interrupted by the feeling of Simon's lips pressing against my neck.

I giggle and push him away, as I feel him sucking a mark into my neck. "It's time to sleep, it's late," I tell him, but still turn around to press our lips together. As much as I think it's too late for this, I've wanted this for so fucking long, and I don't think I could forgive myself for passing this up.

"It's never too late to kiss me." He smirks, I roll my eyes, but still kiss him.

"Okay, now we should sleep." I smile grabbing my wand and spelling off the lights.

"Waste of magic." Simon mumbles, I can tell he's mocking me, I just laugh and close my eyes.

________________________________Hi! Thank you so much for reading this first chapter, I really hoped you liked it! If you have any suggestions, criticism or comments I'd love to hear from y'all :) also, please vote for it I'm thirsty.