you drove over to my house earlier than we had planned. did your wife know you were coming to see your ex-lover?
as soon as i heard the doorbell i couldn't be angry at you. in fact, right when i unlocked the door you barged in like a thrift and stole my breath. words didn't need to explain how much you missed me, actions did. and in no time, i was laying in your arms while you played with my hair under the bedsheets.
i felt guilty. i felt like as if i've committed a crime by making you cheat on your wife. but at least you were back into my arms. you told me you never wanted to leave my side again, even if that meant losing your family. i'd be lying if i said that i didn't feel a rush of happiness take over me, like i was finally waking up from a long sleep. like my prince charming finally came to save me.
your parents didn't approve the divorce. in fact your parents told you that your wife was pregnant. funny thing was, you never touched her the way you touched me. but the child was yours, the tests proved it all right.
now i really don't know what to believe, your words or science. jimin told me that your parents were able to take what was yours and put it into her. sometimes i wish that i was pregnant with your child. how lovely what that child be, with the beautiful smile of yours. maybe he would love music just like you did. maybe she would be the prettiest girl around. so many maybes, why couldn't they be turned to reality.
just when i could of had everything, it gets taken away from me. what exactly did i do to deserve this?
maybe we were never meant to be together. first loves aren't always the last ones, they say.
you left just as easily as you came; like our first kiss. you rushed to my house that night and left the next morning holding an extra plane ticket. you wanted me to come along with you, just like two years ago. you wanted to convince me into this plan that you've stupidly made up. you wanted me to help you escape this situation.
but you were clearly the one who started this. if you never suddenly decided to obey your parents and board that plane, we wouldn't be where we are now. we can't be together, all odds are against us. you have a family now, whether you like it or not, and i'm not going to be the one destroy it.
it's about time that i've really moved on, stop reminiscing and being so hung up on the memories that we've had. they are called memories for a reason anyways.
i have jimin.
he knows the state i'm in, and being the lovely person that he is, he knows just how i feel and is willing to let me use him to get over you. i don't deserve him, but i will always try harder to love him, more than i've loved you.
i hope you are doing well, please forget me and learn to love your wife. she doesn't seem bad, really, she just needs some time for you to see her in a different light. i hope that your child would be just as beautiful as you are.
min yoongi
