The Teat Fic (Ugly Love Crack Fic)

DISCLAIMER:

This story (all 357 words of it) is a fucking joke. We are both fully aware Tom and Kit are not together. This is meant to be nothing more than a laugh. (Also, this is crack fic, it's meant to be fucking disturbing and stupidly unrealistic).

Also, Tom, Kit, if you /are/ reading... We're so, so sorry. Just, sorry.

*****

Kit had a secret, noone knew not even his band mates.

Sometimes, when he's really excited, he produces a liquid in addition to his meat juice. He liked to call it his 'magic milk'.

In short, Kit had a tendency to lactate from his teat.

For years he hid it, amd would have continued to, had it not been for one fateful night when Tom walked in on him touching his nipples.

"Um, we were out of milk?" he whispered.

"Kit?" tom said "why didnt you tell me you had teats?"

"I was worried you'd think I was a freak" Kit cried, tears mixing in with his teat milk.

Tom ran over and hugged kit, teat milk and tears soaking his tie dye tanktop "of course not ya dick" he comforted.

"So.. you aren't disgusted?" He double checked.

"Nope. More aroused than anything".

Tom drew back took off his shirt and his own teats then started to lactate, "y'see kit i dont pop boners, I lactate you see".

"I'M SO HAPPY! WE CAN LACTATE TOGETHER AND USE IT AS LUBE?"

"YES KIT MY LOVE LUBE ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS".

"FAB!"

Kit pushed Tom onto the bed and lactated all over the jeans covering his ass.

"Dont worry about removing them, hun, my sharp spear will go through them no problem".

Tom was happy, so was his teats, "bite the pillow imma GOIN IN" kit cried.

Kit thrust forward, speeding through Tom's jeans like a bullet and straight into his virgin hole.

"Im glad you use scented toilet paper, babe; my anaconda gonna smell real good after this"

Tom started rapping anaconda as kit thrust into his now not so virgin hole, teat milk was everywhere.

"Soon after, Kit was finishing. He pulled out of Tom, head to toe in teat milk.

"Hey! My anaconda aint done yet!!" Tom complained.

Tired, kit lazily finished him off.

"Now roll to the otherside of the bed before we stick together"

Tom rolled over and fell asleep cover in teat milk.

Sticky, but happy.

THE END.