𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

39 | let me down slowly

it really pained my heart to lie to my mother.

"why did you call at this hour, mom?"

"i just feel uneasy, you know. i just wanna know if you and shawn is okay."

"we're fine, mom. oh look! shawn is back!" i lied, again.

"glad to hear that. send my regards to him!"

"w..ill do, mom!" my voice cracked.

i end the call and cry myself to sleep.

┅

shawn and i slept really close together so if he was in a bad mood and awake i could really feel it. he suddenly woke up and go to the kitchen then bathroom sink. back and forth.

i opened my eyes and walk through the hallway of my apartment to meet him in the kitchen. when i see him, there it feels like we haven't spoken in ages. almost like we never met.

"mom called. she send you a regard." i spoke without making eye contact. shawn's back is facing me the whole time and he didn't respond.

and i know we haven't talk in a while

i neared him wanting to touch his back. to feel his touch. but i couldn't. i walked away, running up stairs. he didn't come back to bed instead he left the house at 5am.

┅

the morning i met up with my friends and i literally like shit with swollen eyes. it's obvious even i tried to conceal it.

i vent out all my feelings to my friends and they adviced me to let shawn go but i couldn't because i still love him.

i felt like i really needed to just let everyone know. my feelings are out of my control. sometimes people tell you to just get over something. sometimes you can't. sometimes you can't stop yourself from falling down.

and i can't stop myself from falling down

┅

shawn mendes

my feeling for y/n has faded and i can't bear to tell her the truth.

she doesn't deserve me and i don't deserve a good person like her. i've been drinking and cheating on her yet she doesn't notice. she don't even question me why i gave her a silent treatment and she even lied to her family about us.

i packed my things, ready to move outta here and move in with my bestfriend.

soon y/n came in and she looked shocked.

"shawn, what are you doing? please don't leave me," she begged, tears already forming on her eyes.

i look at her eyes after a whole week of not looking and i can see how hurt she is.

her swollen eyes.

i made her look like this. i'm the one to blame.

"i never ask you anything. and right now im asking you please not to leave me."

my vision starting to get blurry.

"i'm sorry, y/n, i cheated."

tears already rolling down my cheek. she looked me in eyes with angry tears and slap my face. she continue to punch my body and i let her.

"i.. i deserve that."

"why can't you find a way to let me down slowly, huh?" she asked, "get out, shawn."

"y/n, im sorry."

"GET THE FUCK OUT!"

┅

[a.n anyone love this song reference kind of story? vote if you think i should write more of it and comment what song will it be next? secret love song maybe?]