... nothing.
Maybe is from that ,,wish" or whatever you would call such a stupid thing that is not even real. What wish, do you ask? It is just a retarded thing derived from all those stories and fairy tales that I have been reading from childhood. You see... like others people (somewhere during on their lives), I don't even know why, I wished to be immortal. So who else could I ask than Evil Himself. Childish, right? I know. So... I told Him that He could take anything if it could give immortality to my soul.
I don't even know if that worked, why could it work?, this Dude is not even real, not story or fairy tale could even exist, I was just a stupid teen with a stupid wish. ... Don't get me wrong... immortality sounds awesome. But... since then I have stopped from carrying, I don't know when I did observe that but little by little my feelings became only scraps of what they used to be. Ever joy that I had by seeing the few and only friends I had and talk to them, or being sad at drama movies, to have hatred for people who lied, mocked or hurt me in the past, you know the childish stuffs of schools and high schools. But the most sad thing that I couldn't feel anymore was... I even tried to lets my life being controlled by karma and whatever I could die or something worse I wouldn't be mad, but that turned out being just a little few things that I wanna forget about from that week.
Why I am saying these thing to you?, may you think. Because... recently I tried to save someone. I was just crossing the street when I saw her... with her tiny hands and legs, with blue eyes like the sky summer in contrast with her black hair like a clear night full of stars.
She just stood there and for one second time frozen... I saw her collapsing...in the time that traffic lights turned on... I tried to reach her hand and drag her body over mine... If I could be faster... If I saw her faster... If I didn't froze there after i took her hand... and that because of a stupid driver who was after a bus and couldn't wait a few seconds. If he wasn't there she... she... could still be...
I couldn't be angry on driver, I cant even be angry on myself... and I am not depressed if you ask or traumatized after the incident, I am not even... I fell... no-
...-Nothing, yeah, yeah I heard that already. Can you stop pity yourself ?
