A different perspective

Connor's Best Friend

"Larry, how did you-"

"Goddammit! It's the 30th!" I said. "Would you two stop fighting?!"

"Fine. I'm sorry Zoe." She made a puppy face. I glared at her.

"I'm not a baby."

"I know."

And you haven't seemed to care since I was. 

-

(Sorry for all the short stories, I just need to get to the point somehow)

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October 30th, 2017

"1,2,3,4-"

We all strummed, pressed, blew, or hit the notes on the sheet in front of us. The background chatter ceased and after only one song, we were ushered off the stage. 

"Now, give it up for Connors Murphy's best friend, Evan Hansen!" Alana Beck smiled at Evan and beckoned him onstage. 

He came out, small and nervous, his hands shaking and- is that Connors tie? He gripped the microphone and the tiniest noise escaped his mouth. He stopped and tried again, looking at the notecards, then back at everyone. If he vomited right then it wouldn't come as a shock.

"Good morning, students and faculty. I would, um... I would just like to say a few words to you today about... My best friend... Connor Murphy. I'd like to tell you about the day that we went to the old Autumn Smile Apple Orchard. Connor and I, we stood under an oak tree, and Connor said, he wondered what the world would look like from all the way up there. So we decided to find out. We started climbing slowly, one branch at a time. When I finally looked back, we were already 30 feet off the ground. Connor just looked at me and smiled, the way he always did and then... well, then I... I fell. I lay there on the ground and then- " 

He shuffled the notecard and continued. "Good morning, students and faculty. I would, um..." 

Someone laughed. He had stopped, frantically trying to find the next one and in his struggle, he dropped the cards. He quickly knelt down, but didn't pick them up, just stared at them, the looked at us. He glanced backstage, terrified. Finally, he stood up, took a deep breath and started over. But not with words.

"Have you ever felt like nobody was there? Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? Have you ever felt like you could disappear? Like you could fall, and no one would hear?" He took a deep breath, his nerves calming.

 "But see, the thing is when I looked up... Connor was there. That's the gift he gave me. To show me that I wasn't alone. To show me that I matter. That everybody does. That's the gift he gave all of us. I just wish... I wish we could've given that to him." I glanced over at my parents, my mom was crying. I looked back at Evan, disbelieving. This is actually happening. 

"Well, let that lonely feeling wash away. Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay. 'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand, you can reach, reach out your hand. And oh, someone will come running, and I know, they'll take you home." Oh my god. 

"Even when the dark comes crashing through, when you need a friend to carry you, and when you're broken on the ground, you will be found." This is really happening. 

"So let the sun come streaming in, 'cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again. Lift your head and look around." My brother is dead. This is real. "You will be found. You will be found. You will be found. You will be found...You will be found."