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7:14am, November 23,2016
I was now riding my board to school after dropping off Michelle at Coranza house.
I then past my old friends that I used to get in trouble with. I became so distant with them and they never straight forwardly asked what happened. I didn't want to be out doing bad when I was all Michy had.
They didn't know why I kept distance or my life story because I'm so closed off. They then wave smiling while I wave back but don't stop to talk.
Jasmine, Rachel, Allison, and Paula.
Allison was the one I used to be closer to and she looks at me and just looks down frowning. I knew she was upset I haven't been hanging with them like before. Before senior year I did but I don't hang with them after school anymore.
I was now at school and I heard Pablo comment on my ass and I boil up but stay quiet and blast my music heading to my first class.
I had English first, we had to just read and start on a essay that's due next week. I was zoned out half the time and I would see Pablo my ex glance back but I acted as if I didn't notice.
Second period I had history and I sat doing notes while Jasmine another friend of mine glanced back at me. She didn't say anything really. It was weird because we all hung out in lunch at least but I barely talked. They would try to talk to me but I said very little. I just been distant.
Third period was math and we did about three worksheets with the teacher being absent and all. Allison was in this class and she finally turns to me.
"What's this" she ask
"Oh so you subtract this then yo-"
"Not that dumbass" she rolls her eyes laughing.
"What" I ask
"What's up with you your so different" she says
"Nothing I'm fine"
"Well when we hang you don't even talk it's just weird" she sighs
"Then I'll leave y'all be then it won't be awkward" I suggest and she looks at me confused.
"Will you at least hang out with us today after school" she ask
"Can't" I reply
"Ugh I-" she then turns and I go back to work. I hated letting people in to my family issues. I didn't know how to tell them and I didn't know how to act like I was okay when I wasn't.
There was a day I was laughing with my friends and in mid laughing it felt all so forced and fake. I wasn't truly happy.
Ever since then I stopped acting like I was fine. I would laugh here and there but never really smiled much.
Fourth period was P.e. ,I was now dressed in the clothing they give us. This class I had with Rachel and she herself didn't talk much with me. She ran with me though but we both had earphones.
