A bound Belikov (A Vampire Academy Fanfic) ON HOLD

A bound Belikov

DPOV
Rose walked into training this afternoon late. I mean really late. I should have searched for her earlier but knew I had to trust her to show up. After the attack and rescue five weeks ago she'd grown up even more. Often putting my on time arrivals to shame with how much she'd already been training by the time I arrived.

Her face was unreadable- a perfectly bland guardian mask. I realised with a start it mirrored mine from the time I pushed her away perfectly. That realisation stunned and pained me. She almost never had a mask up- with her going to be Lissa's near guard she'd never need it. So why was she so late? And why the unreadable mask? I could see the tear stains on her cheek and that she'd made an attempt to clean her face up before slamming her mask into place. It wasn't moving and I quickly realised why. Her guard going up meant mine did to. My face matched hers. Totally unreadable, blank and cold. Something told me hers wouldn't crack until mine did, but also that mine cracking would make things worse.

I didn't dare speak until I knew the emotions that came out would be genuine. That my voice and words would not cause her anymore pain.

I don't know how long we stood there for, locked in a silent battle of wills. Trying not to crack ourselves or the other but simultaneously waiting to see whose mask would crumble first. We just stood there. And stood and stood, and stood. Until she broke it throwing her arms up saying "this is ridiculous Dimitri! Almost the entire rest of training is gone and if I didn't know any better I'd say you knew! Since when did we have guardian mask staring matches? You haven't used that mask on me in months! I walk in with mine on trying to recompose myself and yours slams into place too" she almost laughed at the end.

That cracked me. "Roza, I'm sorry. You know how I respond to you now since the caves." She'd saved me in almost the same way Lissa had her. The blackness of death had me in one hand and she had me in the other. I felt it when her power burst out and pulled me from death. It had made me her bond mate. I could feel her emotions and messages she sent me. She was yet to pull me into a nightmare and I refused to go into her head. I knew she constantly did it with Lissa and that Lissa hated it. I thought Rose would be ok with me checking on her but I knew she could look after herself. We knew nothing about her magic. It seemed to just be spirit but we couldn't know for sure. She herself was a bond mate so was taking darkness from Lissa. We didn't know if she had any I was taking and none of us would let Adrian look into our auras- he had no bond mate to help him out. Rose had had to spill to Liss but even so Rose and I refused to let her look into the auras too. She was literally keeping me alive as Lissa was her.

"I'm sorry Dimitri. I know how hard adjusting to a bond is from your end it's just weird that now I'm in the same place Lissa was and, well, still is." I could feel it was true. I could also tell she was hiding something. I would have been able to tell without the bond anyway.
"Roza, apology accepted. But what aren't you telling me?" I felt her shock and block a thought before it escaped. "And don't try to block it. I would have been able to eventually pull it out of you before the bond. I want to give you your privacy and time. But just like Lissa can't lie or hide anything from you for too long you can't do it to me." I could feel she knew I was right. "Roza I refuse to go into your head" I responded aloud to her silent 'it's too difficult to explain, just sift through my memories'.
She sighed aloud, and internally I heard a 'here goes nothing', before "I'm pregnant" was blurted out. I could feel the truth radiating from her and she replayed the scene for me, locking me in her head. She released me once the gym scene started.
"Come here you!" I smiled and her heart stopping reaction never failed to send mine in the same direction. She fell into my arms and I could feel her relief, love, passion and a tiny bit of fear for the future flood out of her to me. 'I love you so much comrade' she sent through the bond. God I loved her.
"Not as much as I do you" I teased.
'Nope. I love you more. You're alive because of me- that means I love you more!' I could feel how true that was to her, there was a tiny twinge of pain at the thought of how close she'd come to losing me. I could also tell she was teasing me back, trying to oppress the heartache.
"You're right. You do love me more. I felt that pain and heartache Rose. I'm sorry."
"Comrade. I'm sorry you have to feel all this too. A bond like this changes everything and nothing simultaneously. It's something you adjust to over time. It'll take years before we move on from remembering how and why it was created and just embrace the fact." She replayed her bonding process with Lissa for me and I got the underlying message 'it just takes time and overriding experiences'. I nodded my understanding and she smiled at me 'I knew you'd get it comrade!'. I could tell right then that not even 'daddy' was going to make her release that nickname for me. It had good and bad memories attached to it but the good far outweighed the bad.
"I'm sorry I ever snapped at you for that nickname Roza. I actually love it" I pulled her hands to my heart and said "say it again". It came mentally but the impact was only strengthened when milliseconds later she said it aloud. Her own love of the nickname had strengthened my loved of it with each use since the caves.