when trying wasn't enough

Chapter One: Fragile Beauty

This world ,it works in a wonderful way. Sometimes it's scary. Yes but still full of wonders. It's amazing how a raging sea could look so breathtakingly beautiful even though it can be destructive. People say sunset  is beautiful. It truly is, but should not they be sad? Sunset marks the end of the day , end of the light , end of something bright but they still think it is serene .Life  itself is something fragile but there is a beauty hidden beneath that fragileness, waiting to be revealed .                                                                                                                                                                                                      As I skipped through the grey payment of our dull city , I wonder why humans were born as such a fragile thing. Even though we bluff and boast about  how powerful and intelligent we are , a simple harsh touch, one cruel word is enough to break a person.One bullet is enough to kill a human and we call ourselves the most powerful creatures on the planet earth.                                         I looked up at the colour lights , vehicles stopped when it turned red , they started their car again when the colour lights turned orange and finally when it turned green the drove ahead . When i think about it, colour lights are so much similar to our lives. we stop, we get ready and we go , same thing happens again and again. Humans are pathetic . They live their lives not  caring about any of their actions or the consequences. But when the life  get too hard for them they turn towards the god. Like god can do anything . I really can't help but scoff at them.                                                    "Bella!!" I heard a distant voice call my name . I know that voice , in fact i can recognize that voice anywhere but i ignored her ."Bella!!, stop ignoring me you little shit". Huh, for a lady she sure use such a vulgar language, whatever would her mother say.Her mother is someone who worships social etiquette like it is some kind of holy word. It's ironic really. Her mother thinks her daughter is a innocent little thing .It is true that she is short compared to other girls at our age . She is anything but innocent. I stopped and turned sharply towards the panting, sweating mess, who is unfortunately my best friend Ash.                                                                                                              "Who are you calling 'little shit'? i mean, i know i can be really shitty and all but seriously ?"she was bend down  hands on her knees ,at my remark she looked up and glared at me .I smiled at her and then she  blinked once then twice ." huh man, you seriously need to stop smiling like that . you say something so shitty and then smile like the most  innocent person and we all know you are anything but that." I dropped my smile . should have known that it would not fool her.I did try though.                                                                                                                                                                                             Yes , it is true that i am no good . I do and say a lot of crappy stuff but i am not a demon . well, i am trying my hard not become one.An angel from the outside  a demon from the inside .That's what my friends  say.Some people who are messed up in the head might think this whole concept is cool but surprise , surprise  it is not. what is good about acting like a demon when you are born as a human. For once i want to act like the human i was born into but i am too caught up in the "cool kids"  flow .                                                                                                                                                                              We started walking towards the school . We were early like always .My bestie kept ranting and ranting about her racist parents ideals about the society and she wholeheartedly agree . It is one of those rare cases where ash agrees with her parents and it had to be about  something racist . It is not her fault , her parents has drilled those ideas into her brain it is almost impossible to erase them.I wanted to tell her off, to tell her to stop being a racist piece of shit but i couldn't do it. No i didn't do it in fear of losing her as  a friend. Coward .                                                                                                       

we were talking while walking , i was looking down at my feet while walking . A white butterfly flew around me. Another fragile life .I watched  it  trying to fly under my foot , i saw it , i freaking did but i wasn't fast enough to stop my foot from crushing that butterfly .I came to an abrupt stop. I knew it was too late .Ash stopped and turned to look at me quentionally .  I removed my foot and looked down as did her. I saw that butterfly, which was flying freely moments ago lying dead at my feet.My friend looked at it , eyes sad  . wordlessly  she took a fallen leaf and covered  the dead butterfly ."Rest in peace , fragile beauty "then she turned around and started walking  . I looked at the dead butterfly and muttered a quite  sorry. Then i started walking  towards whatever that was stored for me.