Back To The Start (One Tree Hill)

Chapter 9

"I repeat, you were 17!"

"And I had the reputation of a slut," I mumbled. "But I had that reputation, before I even met Julian."

"Well, you see, he knew about you from the beginning and still fell in love with you."

I closed my eyes. That Julian was back reopened old wounds, which I believed had long healed. But it was only a few weeks ago that I lit a candle for my 'star child'. Nothing was forgotten or healed. I simply lied to myself all the time.

"Brooke?"

I looked up, Haley must have seen the desperation in my eyes, because she came up to me and hugged me.

"You never really had closure with this topic. Maybe this is a good opportunity to finally put an end to it."

Or to go back to the start, I silently added and immediately dismissed the thought. Hadn't I recently thought about the possibility that Julian might have a wife and children? Maybe Haley was right and I should put him out of my mind once and for all. "Thanks for telling me all this," I told Haley, forcing a smile. "If you see Lucas, tell him I'm happy for him."

"I will." Haley nodded. "But now I have to go."

When she had left the store, I sat down at my drawing table and began to draw. The new dress had to be finished in a few weeks, because then Lucas and Peyton's wedding would take place. I smiled involuntarily as I thought about how much they loved each other. They were both no longer the high school teenagers they used to be when they fell in love. And I wasn't either. Almost everything had changed in the last 5 years. With one exception, as I had to admit to myself now: I had never stopped loving Julian!

Julian's POV

Clothes Over Bros Store

One day later

When I entered Brooke's store, the first thing I heard was the song 'Don't You...' from 'The Breakfast Club'. I came here with the purpose of asking her to become a costume designer in my new movie. Suddenly I was back to the day, 5 years ago, when Brooke danced in my room. And now she was leaping through the shop just the same, wiggling her hips and tossing her head. My pulse climbed up and my hands became sweaty. I was suddenly the boy from high school again, on the way to his first date. She had turned her back to me when I entered the store and I didn't know if I should bother her or just leave. But before I could put my thoughts into action, she turned around and stopped dead in her tracks. When our eyes met I noticed how she brushed a strand of hair aside that had fallen over her forehead. "Hey, Brooke!"

"Julian!"

I did what I always did when I didn't know what to say; I smiled.

"I've heard that you're back in town. What do you want?"

If she was surprised by my sudden appearance, she didn't show it at least. She had her arms crossed over her chest and stared at me with narrowed eyes. My heart sank. I hadn't expected such a frosty welcome. But what did I expect? She thought that I had abandoned her after I had left. She couldn't know that it had been the circumstances that had kept us from each other: my mother's addiction, her suicide attempt, the divorce she hadn't gotten along with, my accident, my desperate try to learn to walk again... all those things she couldn't know. I cleared my throat. "I'm here because I wanted to ask you if you want to become a costume designer in my new movie?"

"I'm not a costume designer. I'm working on a new collection."

"But you could be," I tried to persuade her. "What I see is really great. And besides, it would be authentic because you were part of the book and would be an important part of the movie as well." Her eyelids fluttered slightly and for a moment I saw uncertainty in her eyes. "Please, Brooke! I don't know anybody else to ask. My father pesters me to start with the shooting as soon as possible."