👌 japan (the band) shitposting

scooby ryuichi part one to be continued

its been literally four years and some of this is so dated.... i am back with part one of scooby ryuichi

"its löded diper!!" richard monotonely sung along to the diary of a wimpy kid soundtrack CD that was currently playing as he sped down the road. the gang were all piled in the car, very annoyed from rodrick's voice playing at all times. ryuichi sakamoto was tied up in the back seat, as they had kidnapped him, so they were currently on the run from the authorities. ryuichi was trying to sing along to löded dipers heavenly music but as his mouth was taped shut it sounded more like in-tune 'mmmph'ing.

as rich drove, he thought about what he'd do once they lost the cops. he was planning on going to fur con, so he brought his best fursuit. it was custom made for him, of his fursona darkfang the wolf. he couldn't wait.

"oh no" said rich "the car broke down. but conveniently it broke down right next to this recording studio" the studio in question was covered in moss and black paint. the stereotype of a haunted house, but also clearly a recording studio. so the gang all got out of the car, walking through the raging storm that was also happening, and knocked on the door. some random crusty old man (the studio owner) answered and mick explained that their car broke down.

"wow," said the old man "you four boys who are lugging around a tied up electronic musician are totally not suspicious at all. you can stay here :)"

"ok. now this is epic" said steve, shoving his way inside.

a look of recognition appeared on the studio owners face when he saw dylvian sylvian. "i seen this bitch before. you just came here like 2 days ago wtf. why would you leave and come back?"

david was holding ryuichi by the legs over his shoulder. " what " he threw ryuichi inside with the rest of the luggage. just straight up threw him like a star pitcher. " you fucking cretin, ive never been here in my life."

" ok wig. this guy came in who looked just like you, pale and crusty. said his name was david sylvian."

" what the fuck. IM dylvo sylvo look i have proof" david shoved his ID into the mans face, a napkin that read "im sylvo?" in crayon.

"ok fair enough. dunno who that was then. oh, actually, well.. theres this legend around these parts. a type of ghost. copies peoples appearances, and pretends to be them. but don't let anyone know i told you that!" screeched the old man.

"oh my GOD this is just like my favorite show titled simply 'scooby doo'. a true cinematic masterpiece," said steve, "can i be shaggy? i mean... OBVIOUSLY ryuichi has to be scooby."

david scoffed, coke-bloated face twitching. "steve really thinks he's shaggy...." he patted ryuichi on the head, before stating, "if ryuichi's scooby, i've got to be shaggy."

ryuichi sighed, attempting to wriggle free of his bonds. "david you're clearly daphne. and why am i the dog?"

"can i be fred? i feel like i'm the most responsible of you all... and steve is definitely more shaggy than you, dave. ryuichi's right. rich can be velma - no reason needed." mick crossed his arms, non-existent eyebrows raising at the scene before him.

grumbling in a way that suggested he was Very Not Okay with this assignment, david plopped cross-legged on the floor and scooted closer to ryuichi.

"hey" said rich in a goth way "if ryuichis the dog why doesn't he wear my fursuit which i very conveniently have in my suitcase along with my loded diper cds and signed photo of melanin king lil huddy"

"do you really have a fursuit for him which is conveniently in your suitcase along with your loded diper cds and signed photo of melanin king lil huddy?" responded steve, voice full of sweet hope.

"yes" said rich in an emo way, brushing his bangs out of his eyes and rummaging through his suitcase, eventually pulling out the pieces that comprised his darkfang the wolf suit. it was black and red and fuzzy, with evil looking hyperrealistic red eyes that were bleeding very realistically. it came with a spiked collar and a fedora to wear on top.

"WAITWAITWAIT ... we can't cover his beautiful face... leave the head off..." cried david, pain and desperation evident. "he's too pretty please"

so japan the band dressed ryuichi in all of the pieces except for the head (although they did gently place the fedora on top of his hair) and quickly re-tied him, looking pleased with their work.

clapping his hands together, mick widened his eyes and cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "alright lads, i think it's time we split up and search for clues."