Until you can't run anymore

But you don't really want that

"Not anymore", Josh mumbled and followed Tyler inside.

The apartment was small on crowded. At first he thought it was too crowded for his liking, as in not even place to sit and hide away, but then he realized people had just gathered in groups and there was plenty of places to sit at the other side of the living room.

Breathe in and breathe out. Don't stare at their eyes, they will notice. Ignore the smiles, they aren't really inviting to talk, he reminded himself and followed Tyler again like a lost puppy.

"A beer?" Tyler asked.

Josh stared at him, blinking his eyes like he didn't understand the question. He did. What he couldn't understand was that who this Tyler guy was and how was he so welcoming. He glanced at the table that had few cheap brands of booze and then at inside the fridge as Tyler was holding the door open.

"You think too much", Tyler tilted his head.

Josh smiled faintly and nodded then. At least this far Tyler hadn't shown any signs that he wanted something in return so maybe he could have the beer.

Tyler opened the beer for him, another one for himself, tossed the bottle opener on the table and nodded the, gesturing them back to the others.

"You okay?" Tyler frowned when they sat down and Josh's eyes just kept scanning the room and the people.

"Yeah, I... uhm, just not used to this much people at once", Josh shook his head.

"Not that bad", the other answered, but it was more like encouragement than downplaying his feelings. Or what Tyler see. Josh was sure he couldn't actually know how he felt right now and how it would surely get worse too.

But in few minutes he had pushed that aside and despite hating it he was talking to other people that had surrounded them. This one guy, called Aaron, seemed to be rather interested in him and Josh didn't know was it a good thing or not. First, he suspected he had seen him on the street and that why curious what he did here and how he knew Tyler. But then he asked what he did for a living, or was he still studying, and Josh could see it in his eyes that was a genuine question. The guy ran a hand through his bleached hair and tilted his head, waiting for an answer.

"Uhm..." he swallowed. Now he was in that situation. To tell or not. He never ever told it this fast to anyone. Except with Tyler.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of Josh. Even if the dollar store job doesn't pay that much", Tyler nodded smiling.

Josh stared at him in awe. He didn't need to lie. Josh could have also told the truth. But now he was there, Tyler looking back at him obviously content that they managed to dodge the situation. They, like Tyler cared at all. It was confusing and he was sure the cracks in the walls he had built around him were seen.

"Yeah. Okay. I just don't..." Josh shrugged.

"We get it. No worries", another guy, called Alex, said smiling.

The others were immersed back to the conversation but Josh draw a copious amount of air to his lungs, trying to arrange his thoughts. He had no idea how people would react if he would tell it like that and that was why he avoided the subject. Because after that came the why and all the other questions he didn't have any answer to that would satisfy the asker. Or him either.

But the night continued and he was still there. Still partially reluctant and scared. Sure that they would tear down his walls and then he wouldn't have anything left. However, no one seemed to second guess him being mostly quiet.