Cold Weather, Play Warmer

Chapter 8

After that, I was taken to the hotel Coldplay was staying at. The room was big enough to hold ten people, but they let me run around in it to enjoy some of their stuff. Drinks, parties, music, conversations with fans, an online hangout with SMOOCH at one point, music, games, writing, music, comics, music, sorting out my problems so much that it turned into "It's just a phase," and music. I ended up spending two whole weeks with them just to get over my own problems. It helped me feel a little less like crud. But I still didn't want to go home. It was gonna take a long while for me to settle down and think it over.

But, still...I knew I had to make a decision, because of this:

-TWO WEEKS LATER-

"Katherine Mulligan here with an update on the Lincoln Loud situation: several witnesses claim to have seen Lincoln over the Des Moines area, while several citizens believe him to have been killed in the hit-and-run a couple weeks ago. The photo of the alleged accident-"

I turned off the TV, "I may vomit..."

"That ain't gonna sit well with the family," Chris said, "You think the police would be even more jittery now?"

"I don't wanna think about it..." I went over to the window that opened the entire city to me. And I thought about that lonely house and how it would go on without me.

Will suddenly came up to me, "Hey, Lincoln. Do you think this has gone on long enough?"

"What?"

"This. All of this. The media's in a frenzy, and your family's having a fritz over you."

"Good," I stomped away, "Maybe then, they'll finally get a grip."

"Are you still saying that?" Guy said, "Do you think they don't realize what you caused? I mean, Christmas Day, that crazy woman stampeded through Illinois and Indiana just to find you."

"And claw my eyes out! And make sure I have stubs for hands!"

"Just because she was furious, doesn't mean she didn't want to try to reconnect with you. In some fashion."

"She doesn't wanna talk to me! No one does! They just wanna use me as a lightning rod! A punching bag for all the crud our family has to-" I said 'our family'. I couldn't find a reason why I said that; I thought I made my hatred clear, but actually I didn't know what to feel.

That is, until Johnny came and tossed the final grenade, "You yourself said you gave up time to make those gifts. Where'd that kind of devotion come from?"

I didn't have a good answer to that. I only knew how I felt right then and there. Then...THEN it dawned on me. It took me this long to get my head out of my scrawny little butt.

I think I was still looking for excuses at that time, but I did at least acknowledge it, "What have I done..."

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, it's ok. It's ok..." Chris came and rubbed my shoulders, "It's like we've been saying; it's big, but it's not impossible. We can fix it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But it's gonna get uncomfortable. Like, "confronting everyone you hurt" uncomfortable. Can you handle that with them? Not by yourself...with them."

"... I don't know..."

"Hey, you're gonna do just fine," Will patted my head, "After all, you saw how scattered your sisters were, right? You're not just a lightning rod to them."

It took a lot of effort to convince me to go back to my family, if only to prove me wrong. But I realized that I left on bad terms, and I needed to fix that.