Cold Weather, Play Warmer

Chapter 5

And that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I simply could not process Lori actually getting physical with me. I knew she was strong, given her local reputation of being a boss, but this...THIS...I never figured out what I did to make her so angry...until now...but, back then I knew I could not let her ever forget it. Choking someone underwater and trying to break their fingers tends to scar victims in the worst way possible, and I am no exception. Boy, I must have a lot of patience. I didn't outright up and bail on them because thought that the gifts I made were my only ticket to making things right.

But that didn't stop me from planning my getaway. On top of the gift making, which I now had to sacrifice (Hah! Haven't used that word!) full weekends and weeknights to, on account of being scarred for life, I chose to plan out exactly how I would make my getaway, as a "What if" scenario. I placed my bag inside the couch cushions, and all my clothes scattered in places where they wouldn't stick out to anyone except me. And I knew that they were all far more physically able than I was, and they would stop at nothing to make sure I didn't escape...so not only did I stow away Lana's modified bike right under the porch, but I also planned where and how I would hit them. That way, I could buy myself time to get as far away as possible from the house.

And yet I hoped to never, ever go that far. I was such a hopeless family man because I was so scared of losing my family, the people who had lifted me up for more than 12 years! I don't wanna throw any of that away. But as you will soon see, I had to.

-DECEMBER: ONE WEEK TO CONCERT-

And like I said, I was so out of it, I didn't even bother to get close to my sisters. I was aware that my sisters were trying to bring me back to the caring brother they always knew, but I just kept pushing them aside. It was indeed the most confusing paradox I have ever been trapped in. I focused all my attention on the gifts, and I didn't take my eyes off until they were done.

About a week before the concert, I hit the high mark. Thanks to the extra time I was able to squeeze out, I was finished with every single present except Lisa's, which was finally finished with the chemical headaches and just needed to cool down. Howard had found a publisher for my dad's cookbook, Clyde and I put the finishing touches on Lily's bed, Lynn's sneakers, and...Luan's cursed prank kit. Harold even threw in a working monster truck to complement Lana's tool set. I had the plaque guys engrave "LORI LOUD, CEO of Loud Co.", because nothing else would fit, especially not whatever Clyde suggested. Clyde and I went the extra mile on Leni's and Lola's gifts, asking a fashion company to look them over for any possible screwups, only for them to book a Christmas release I dunno what is happen. I finally got Luna's new guitar the way I wanted it, complete with a hidden CD pocket which holds two custom picks and the Certified Platinum single,

(Play it loud! Play it proud! Turn it u-*COUGH*COUGH*COUGH*COUGH*)

Man, that kills my throat...EAACKGH!

Everyone's gifts were already wrapped up and set for delivery to the family garage. I also hid Clyde's family's presents in the basement for good measure: an unreleased comic of Ace Savvy, with a giant poster of the first comic art ever, and a pair of matching tuxedos, as thanks for putting up with my nonsense of the year. Delivery of all was set for Christmas Eve 10 am, when everyone will already be out for the concert. Everything was planned out with excruciating attention to detail.

The only thing that stood in the way was the fixing of the familiy relationship. Luna and Luan weren't sure on how to get me over the...water. Lynn was starting to go back to her usual self, but the nightly hugs have become...softer? Lucy's Lucy. Lola's still being unsupportive. Lana's turned the other cheek and wouldn't budge until I do. And Lisa's too much into her science to worry. Thank goodness Lily wasn't exposed to any of that.