Dearest Punishment

Cardan and Jude

Cardan

It's not light when I wake, but somehow I can sense that the heaviness of the night is receding. I don't have much longer.

Jude is asleep lying on my arm, dark hair fanned across the pillow. She's younger in sleep. But I know she'd have her fingers on my throat in an instant if she woke up to see me staring at her like this.

Her hand is still in mine, and I gently kiss her knuckles before sliding out of bed.

Most are my clothes are scattered with hers, it takes me longer than I'd like to get dressed. Then I stand in Jude's doorway, looking back at her where she sleeps.

I've been waiting for the regret to kick in, but I don't feel anything so far. I'm sure when I finally get to the dawn meeting that I'll hate myself for last night. But being here, in the mortal world, feels so much like a dream that I can't convince myself I made a mistake.

Jude stirs, slightly, fingers stretching out across the bed as if trying to reach something. I remember how hot her mouth was against mine.

We'll meet again, I know. I'm sure she'll be my downfall one day.

But it doesn't make me want her any less.

I leave silently, drifting like a ghost through the house to let myself out. There's a sharp, metallic taste in my mouth - I don't remember it, but I must have kissed Jude hard enough to draw blood.

The thought scares me, reminds me how easily she can snap my control.

Vivi's front door clicks open and then shut behind me as I step out into the last dregs of the night. Tilting my head back, I take in the dark and empty sky and pull on my role as a king once again.

It gets easier, every time.

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Jude

I wake up suddenly, sitting up in an empty bed that smells of him. Rain and sweetness and dark wine.

Cursing myself for sleeping so easily, I stumble out of bed and drag a robe around myself, already practically running to Vivi's room. She's still in bed, half-awake, wanting coffee. I promise to make some, and check in on Oak. He's curled in a ball, surrounded by his soft toys, unmoving in sleep.

It was an irrational fear to be worried about my family - Cardan had been bound not to even go near them. But my heart beats easier all the same as I walk into the kitchen to brew coffee.

It feels like I'm carrying a sort of secret, a dark jem of desire somewhere in my stomach that gets heavier when I think of last night. What had been going through my head.

I rub my eyes until stars burst behind them, telling myself I'm stupid over and over. I can't do something like that again, can't afford to let Cardan through my defences so easily.

It'll break me.

At least, I think, I got something out of it. A small chance. I'm betting on the fact that Cardan won't have time to wash before the dawn council - he'll change his clothes and do his hair, of course, knowing him, but my blood won't be washed off from his mouth.

Even knowing that, I'm only hoping that when Cardan said he was going to a war negotiation, he would be meeting with Madoc.

The way he had said negotiation suggested he was dealing with an enemy, but the Undersea seemed to be well past the stage of bargaining when I had last been in Faerie. And while Cardan may have needed to talk to some of his own uneasy courts, I can't imagine he'd talk about his people with hate in his voice.

So I'm hoping that Madoc, after his uprising with Taryn and his claim of half the army, is still in contact with Cardan. He's smart enough not to want a war, and although he and Cardan detest each other, he'd rather have Oak on the throne before the Undersea rise in earnest. Perhaps that is enough for Madoc to want to make a deal with Cardan's council.

Perhaps.

It's a big gamble, and a bigger gamble still that even if Madoc is there, he can sense my blood. Being a redcap, he should be sensitive to it, but who knows if he would be paying attention.

But if he can scent my blood, he may well come to the conclusion that Cardan is being used by me. Perhaps then, he would come find me - wanting to know my motives either to stop me... or perhaps make a deal.

We both want Oak on the throne, we just have different ideas of how to make that happen. Maybe we can find a solution.

It's a weak, flawed, plan, but it's the only plan I've had for the last two months that has a chance of working.

I finish making the coffee, pouring a mug for Vivi and deciding I don't need one for myself. I feel energised properly for the first time in two months.

I push my final thoughts of Cardan and last night from my mind. I have a plan, now.

And if Madoc does come, I need to be ready. I have work to do.

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Thanks for reading this mess of a story! I have no idea if Jude's plan would actually work in canon but I just wanted to finish the story with her having a purpose. It'll make me feel better about WAITING a YEAR for the next book!!!!:'(
 
Hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you thought : ) and see u all next year to find out what really happens!