puppet strings ♡ joshler

one

an: shout out to my bestest friend in the whole wide world (who isn't active anymore on wattpad), his character is alex!! and this story is gonna be pretty dark (check tags--which still need updating) so please please please be careful!! ofc i'll put warnings for each chapter that needs them!!

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tired eyes gaze sleepily at the ceiling, their owner willing them to stay open. his name is tyler, and desperately wants to sleep—god, sleep sounds absolutely wonderful right now, and he's definitely gonna need it. he starts his first day of his senior year tomorrow morning, which he had already kinda been dreading enough as it is—being sleep deprived on top of returning to hell's gonna be grand.

tyler's eyes flutter shut—hungry flies and crumbling flesh—his eyes snap open. he's willing them to stay open. he's so tired.

he shifts his eyes from side to side as he broods about the new school year. fuck, that's really starting tomorrow, huh?

he lets out a whine as he drags his palms over his face. oh, dear god, he doesn't wanna go back, he doesn't, he doesn't, summer isn't long enough and this isn't fair.

tyler's eyes flutter shut—parasites bursting—his eyes snap open again and lets out another pitiful sound. he hates nights like these—nights when his mind shows him scary images when he closes his eyes. he knows that even if he does manage to find sleep tonight, it'll be riddled with nightmares.

god, the nightmares.

he shakes his head and wills his mind to go elsewhere, to a safeplace to settle in for a while.

then he feels a presence—gentle and white, safe and soothing.

"lavender," tyler whispers out into the darkness of his room. she doesn't say anything, but he can sense her.

his eyes flutter shut—lavender.

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he dreamt of a tired bleach blonde woman sorting through lamb hides at dawn and being afraid he was gonna be skinned next as he was lying across a wooden table, surrounded by more lamb hides.

he also dreamt of a catastrophic flood with very high death rates. volunteers and families searched through the waters and debris, many mothers and families mourning and crying out. tyler had stared down at what remained of a young boy as it was announced that all casualties were children.

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tyler has two alarms set in the morning—the first one set to 6:45am to wake him up, then spending the next five minutes brooding and desperately wishing he could roll over and go back to sleep.

he uses those five minutes to ponder last night's nightmares. they weren't too bad, just very unsettling.

he doesn't realize just how tired he is until his 6:40 alarm goes off and he's forcing himself into a sitting position. he groans out and puts his head in his hands, already craving his bed and precious sleep.

tyler trudges into his closet and tugs a random top and pair of jeans from their hangers and groggily changes into them before heading towards the jack and jill bathroom he shares with his brother zack. he faces his reflection and admires his outfit; it's just a pair of dark skinny jeans and a maroon pullover, but he loves it. he feels cute when he wears it.

he makes eye contact with himself through the mirror and offers himself a hesitant smile.

"you look..." he starts, trailing off awkwardly as he tilts his head a bit, "cute?"

now he just feels silly.

he shakes his head a little and reaches for his tooth brush, starting his routine. he'll learn to love himself one day.

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tyler and zack wordlessly walk together to their bus stop, both with one earbud in as they listen to their own music. tyler can't help but wonder what his younger brother's listening to—he always wonders what music people he cares for likes.

their bus is a bit late, but no one complains as they file onto the carpool, the two brothers selecting their seats from last year. they sit in seats next to each other, nothing personal. zack just likes to lean his back against the bus wall and tyler likes to lie across the seat as they both sleep.

"going back to hell," a boy loudly groans out as he climbs onto the bus, normal behavior from him. tyler's pretty sure his name's brendon.

"mood," tyler mumbles to himself as he lies his head on his bookbag, grimacing at the roughness of the fabric. the fabric of his pillow is so smooth and soft—like his bedsheets, his blanket warm and fluffy...

but no, tyler has to go to fucking school with all these punkass bitchass rude ass kids who act like they run shit and get into fights over anything and have sex in the closets and behind the bleachers.

but at least alex will be there—alex is definitely worth everything he deals with at school.

tyler can't help but smile at the thought of his best friend. he wonders if they'll have any classes together this year, or if they'll have lunch together again. he and alex met junior year at lunch through an old mutual friend after she invited tyler to their table, and he's been so blessed since then.

and school doesn't seem to upset him anymore as his mind has returned to a safeplace.