Forgive us Our Sins

Chapter 3

Liza stays silent as we pass under street lights, I blast the heat which causes a quiet hum to fill the silence. We arrive at the park and off in the distance I see a tall flame. It's past the playground and deeper into the woods. "That must be them" I say, she just nods

"I think I'll just stay in the car...I don't want to cause a scene" she finally speaks up, I nod and turn the car off

With each step the flame grows taller and it's light casts shadows on the passing trees. By the time I'm a few yards away I feel the heat and welcome it. I scout the area for Derek hoping to find him and get home before my mother has another fit. There's probably 10 guys, some sitting on stumps, others standing with a beer in one hand and a joint in the other. The smell of burning wood and weed mix together in my senses and I wrinkle my nose. A few girls are scattered, most hanging drunkenly on guys. A familiar figure is seated across from the fire. "Derek?" I whisper yell hoping not to draw too much attention to myself.

He turns to me and his brown eyes are blood shot. At first I think it's from crying but as I move closer and see the glaze across them I know it's not only from tears. "Are you high?!" I ask louder than I should

"Give it a rest Esme, where's Liza?" he rolls his eyes, standing up

Anger fills me "in the car, come on" I demand and start walking, at this point not caring if he follows. I'm half tempted to get my mom to call the cops.

As I walk up to the car I keep my head tucked hoping to preserve my body heat. As I reach just outside the thinning forest I run into someone. I quickly look up and am met with bloodshot dark eyes "I'm sorry" I say quietly and try to move around his tall body

"Where you goin' pretty thing the party is just starting" he slurs and moves me up against a tree, the smell of stale beer leaves his lips and fans over my face

"Please let me pass" I say as his arms come up around my shoulder and waist

"It's a chilly night, let me warm you up" his hand moves down my waist and around my butt

I gasp and prepare my knee to connect with his groan but just before I do he's ripped off of me and my brother throws him to the ground "lay off Tony that's my sister" he growls

Tony shoots up "watch yourself kid" he growls back but brushes himself off and walks towards the fire

"Thanks" I say as a moment of silence passes, both of our breathing ragged and uneven

He doesn't say anything but turns in the direction of the car "come on" he says and I oblige

Liza steps out as soon as she sees us. I turn Derek to me "you have to be calm" I tell him

"Why do you think I'm high" he says and smiles when she walks to him

"Hey" they say at the same time and stand in silence

I take it as my time to give them some privacy so I climb in the car and crank it up. Light expands around them creating a shadow of two sorrowful people on the ground. I discretely watch as they talk. The first few words cause tears, then they move to anger then back to sadness. Through the doors of the car I hear my brother bed for her to stay with him, to try to figure out long distance. Liza's eyes although tears with sadness stay firm and she explains her reasonings. She ends with the words my brother will cling to until he's able to move on- "I will always love you". My heart lurches at this...it might have been better if she said she didn't love him anymore. Her words will only cause more confusion. When they finally finish speaking they climb in the car in silence.

I look at Derek in the back seat and he's slumped over with an angry frown while Liza let's out a deep sigh. I start to drive without a word.

The ten minute drive to her house is eerily quiet and I drive faster hoping to get it over with as soon as possible. The street lights blur past as I try to ignore the thick tension in the small space. Liza unbuckles the minute I pull into her driveway and when I come to a stop she pauses and looks back at Derek, he doesn't meet her eye. "I'm sorry" she says hardly above a whisper

Neither of us say anything. When she walks back into the house without a glance back I start to put the car in reverse but Derek gets out of the car.

"Derek!" I say thinking he's going back up to her house but he quietly moves to the front seat

I don't comment but continue to back out and head home. He stays silence for the first five minutes. With his next words I expected angry cus words or cries of anguish but he says three simple words "thank you Esme" I take my eyes off the road to look at him in shock

"Sure..." I trail off "will you be ok?" I ask in all honesty. I've never been through loosing a boyfriend that I loved as deeply as Derek loved Liza.

He sighs and looks out the windshield, I get a glimpse of the sad brown eyes that are just a little glassy at this point. "I don't know"

The rest of the drive is silent but I know what's to come. My mother.