Help Me Remember (COMPLETED)

Chapter 34 Part 1

"Seth," I called his name, "y-you need to leave me h--"

"Shut up, Scar."

The first of the tears blurred my vision at the helplessness I felt. Physically pushing him away was an impossibility and I was left to again watch his futile attempts.

"You s-shouldn't have returned." Silence. "D-damn it! Are you listening to m-me? You s-s-should've already l-left." Seth didn't budge.

How did it come to this?

It was a stupid question to ask. I knew exactly how everything came to this. Every  single mistake that I'd knowingly chosen. All the wrong things I did with a smile on my face were finally coming back to haunt me.

I deserved this. And if I died out here, it was atonement that barely covered all that I'd done in this short but dragging life.

Watching Seth's misguided efforts merely helped to bring home that point. But he wouldn't listen to me. Why couldn't he understand?

The cut on his right forearm that I'd earlier thought to be minor injury came to focus. My insides churned at the sight. It was long, cutting through the muscle and bleeding profusely. Only the rain was quicker in washing the blood away that I wasn't able to notice earlier. As if the situation couldn't be any graver.

Lightning flashed. I swallowed the lump in my airway, "Seth, I c-can't move." I told him weakly.

In an irritated tone, he snapped at me. "I know that."

"then h-how are you supposed to g-g-get me out of here? Your w-wound..."

There was no answer, but the pause, the slight slumping of his shoulders was all the answer I needed.

I shook my head at him, "You have to g-go without me."

Frenzied eyes lifted to mine, "I can't just leave you here! I'm not leaving you here."

"It's okay, Seth." I reassured him, " You know you have to go. Saving m-me... it's i-imp-possible."

He tried again at my seatbelt and if it were another time, another place this would've counted for a ridiculous scene. But seeing him like this was too difficult.

"Seth, you have to--"

"You would die of hypothermia if you stay out here too long. Do you realize that?"

"I know." Our breaths fogged up between us and my flimsy clothes were soaked through with icy water.

His eyes blazed in that pained as and his nostrils flared, "we're talking about death, Scarlett! Death!"

I knew that too. But I didn't answer him that. And we stayed there in frozen silence, the rain too loud in the background. But it wasn't enough to drown out the loudness of my own thoughts.

My mouth opened on its own, admitting the words I might never again have a chance to admit. "It's all my f-fault. I should've n-never married h-h-him."