Of Blood, Of Bone, Of Brain

Chapter 1: Eos

The world felt like a different place this early in the morning. It was quieter, darker, foggier. The sunrise, usually so bright and colorful, was blocked out by clouds, and the other students on the bus, usually enveloped in constant chatter, were uncharacteristically muted, the silence only being broken by the occasional whisper. Outside, the trees passed by in barely-visible gradients of orange and brown and gold. 

Thomas hated all of it.

Even the music blasting through his earbuds couldn't drown out the silence - and, judging from the glares aimed at him by the other students, it wasn't doing any favors for anyone else, either. Thomas could never think quite right in the quiet. His thoughts would always feel too loud, sticking out, not blending in with the rest of the cloud of noise that he preferred to have surrounding him. Thomas felt awkward enough as it was. His own brain didn't need to add on to it.

He turned up the volume. He was probably causing some degree of hearing loss, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

He felt someone tap on his shoulder and he turned, pressing the pause button on his phone screen. "What's up?"

"Sorry to interrupt, man," said Teo, "but can I borrow an earbud? Some people on this bus can't seem to understand that not everyone wants to listen in on their conversations."

If it was anyone else, Thomas would have refused, would have been pissed off at even the suggestion of it. But Teo Mendoza had always been different. "Of course," Thomas said. He handed the right earbud to Teo, who took it with a grateful smile. 

"So," said Teo. Small talk? Thomas wondered. He could never quite tell when it came to Teo. "You written anything new recently?"

Thomas shrugged, feeling his cheeks start to burn. Calm down, he told himself. "Not really," he said. "Nothing good. Nothing complete."

"Aha," said Teo. "That means that there's something."

"Yeah, there's something. Something terrible." 

Teo laughed. "Nothing you do is terrible, Thomas." Thomas glanced away from Teo, looking back out the window. He could see his reflection in the darkness, the mussed hair, the flushed face. And behind him was Teo, looking perfect as always. "But it's okay if you don't want to share it. I mean, I get it."

Thomas nodded quickly, trying not to show how thankful he truly was. Teo snickered, and Thomas elbowed him. "Shut up." He moved closer to him, their legs touching on the seat. "So. What do you want to hear?"

Teo reached out, scrolling through the artists on Thomas's phone. "Dude. You have seriously weird taste in music."

"It's not weird. It's varied."

"Rap. Bluegrass. Celtic." Teo read off each genre as he scrolled past them. "Oh, here we go - The Fellowship of the Ring Original Motion Picture Soundtrack."

"Hey." Thomas snatched back the phone. "Let's compromise. Spotify Discover Weekly."

"Oh my god, what does yours even look like?"

"If you think you're confused, imagine what it's like for Spotify's algorithms." Thomas navigated to his home page on the app, pulling up the playlist and hitting shuffle. The beats flowed through the wires, breaking through the fog in Thomas's mind and seeming to pound in his heart, in his blood. Sometimes he hated being labeled 'the music kid' - he hated being labeled at all - but it was times like these that he really understood why. When there were less than forty people in your grade and less than one hundred in your school, everyone had something that they were known for - being a swimmer, or an actor, or a stoner. Music wasn't the worst thing for people to think of when they saw you, Thomas thought.