2018 December 13, Thursday 10:00 AM
I waited. I waited so long that my eyes almost got dry. I know it was my idea to put an end to this. It was always mine in the first place. My idea, my choice, my decision. But why does it felt so wrong?
Last night we talked on the phone and settled things that we'll do for today, at last we'll have our closure! But why does it felt so wrong?
You gave me the chance to think about the good times and the bad times we shared while waiting here in this corner of the cafe. My mind filled with memories and my heart filled with rainbows and butterflies even cockroaches and lizards. Why does it felt so wrong?
We shared a hundred plus days together, spent almost 2,616 hours together, talked for about 6,540 minutes since we officially first met. But now I wanted to let go of our red string of fate. Why does it felt so wrong?
I missed having only me, myself and I together always that's why I wanted to let you go. I wanted to explore things and places I've never been before and I can't wait to do it anymore. But why does it felt so wrong?
I wanted to forget you and live with the memories you gave me like it was just a dream. Live my life alone after sharing it with you. Be happy and feel wonderful with me, myself, and I. But why does it felt so wrong?
You said you'll come today to make me choose if I will let you stay. But where are you now? Making me wait here for hours. It's like you planned to move on first than doing it together. I feel so wrong.
I felt so wrong pushing you away now that I realized that I still love you anyway. I gave you myself and let you have a part of me that will forever stay inside you. My heart, my soul and even the littliest part of my body, I gave it to you. Maybe that's why I felt so wrong.
I felt so wrong closing doors to you even if I know it's like closing doors to unicorns. Forgetting about the feeling of yawning cats, pegasus, and the rising of the sun. Maybe that's why I felt so wrong.
I figured why I feel so terribly wrong. Everything is so wrong. Me thinking of throwing those 2,616 hours away is just wrong. Me not valuing those 6,540 minutes is undeniably wrong. Now I know why.
I know why, I can't honestly say I don't need you anymore, I can't freely let you go away and I can't give you up right now. Not now, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. You are me and I am you. We are one like I always say to you.
My mind's just clouded of what I think is right and what I thought was for the best. My heart's just fogged up with fear and pressure and insecurities and guilt that even my stomach can't handle anymore. My body organs' a total mess and I know you feel it too.
I looked up and searched for you everywhere but you are nowhere to be found. I can't see you nor feel you. You are not here, you are not anywhere near me. Where are you? When will you come and meet me here?
I am sorry, I trully am. I am wrong. I am so wrong. Definitely and absolutely wrong. I realized how much you mean to me. Please come back.
My eyes teared up. My nose clogged. My voice shaked. My hands trembled. My legs weaken. Embracing you is the only thing I want to do right now. Please, come back to me.
I bowed my head, not wanting the people to see that I am in the verge of crying. I am missing you so much that I can't take another breath without feeling this pain in my chest. And then suddenly...
You appeared infront of me holding a single stem of red rose, wearing your smiling and comforting face saying, "I'm coming home to you." Everything became alright and at last it felt right, this felt right.
You embraced me with all your love and it's like... Magic.
