Redo Loving You

PROLOGUE 

Actually I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to fool her, to play with her feelings. If truth be told, in the first place, I don’t want to do this but sad to say it’s too late.

I already said yes to ‘her’. I accepted this agreement not because I wanted to but because of ‘her’. Sorry but I can’t decline to ‘her’. 

Pumayag na ako sa isang kasunduang hindi ko akalaing magpapahirap sa'kin ng ganito. Bakit siya pa? kainis naman kasing puso ‘to, iibig na lang kasi sa taong hindi nakalaan sa’kin. Sa taong hindi ko dapat mahalin.

At first, I thought that it’s impossible to like her. But in the end, I realized that I’m slowly falling for her. And the more that I’m with her; I’m falling deeper and deeper each day. 

I really love her; but I need to hurt her for her to realize the real person who meant for her. And it’s hard for me to admit that it’s not me.

Kanina pa ako umiinom dito sa bar pero hindi pa rin ako nalalasing.

Suddenly I felt something flowing on my face. Am I crying? Tsk. Kabaklaan naman oh! 

Then ininom ko ‘yung natitirang beer sa baso ko, my last shot. Mahal ko pa naman ang buhay ko, tsaka magda-drive pa ko pauwi. 

Paalis na sana ako ng may pumigil sa’kin.

This girl, ano bang meron sya at napapasunod niya ko sa lahat ng sabihin niya? 

She’s the reason why I did those stupid things. She’s also the reason why do I need to hurt Ana and why I’m hurting right now. I don’t know her intention in doing such evil things. Maybe my friend is right for accusing her being a USER. But why do I can’t get mad at her despite the fact that she just used me for her own self? 

“I’m sorry.” She said then she hugged me. 

When she hugged me, I felt something inside me that I can’t explain. I just want to stay like this forever but there’s a part of me saying ‘it’s wrong and I should stop this’.

Si Ana ang mahal ko. Pero bakit ganito?

Si Ana nga ba ang mahal ko at epekto lang ito ng alak?