In Saving the Imperfect

17. We wanted to go back

"You can talk to me if you need to, you know," he said.

Layne frowned and narrowed his eyes. "Ok, who sent you?"

"What?"

"Was it Alana? Tell her I don't want to talk to anyone."

"No one sent me, gee." Coden turned away from him but didn't leave.

Him being so close for so long made Layne uncomfortable, in a way. That was the place he would go to be alone with his thoughts. Even if normally, he'd be the one dragging people into conversations, for a while now, he didn't feel like it. He didn't feel like himself.

With Coden staying silent, after a while, Layne was able to shut down his existence. He closed his eyes and imagined that he was alone. That he wasn't even there. In an attempt to drive his thoughts away from his loss, he wondered about his brother and niece. He would have wanted to know what did he tell to Rissa – although knowing her mother, the little girl is probably under an illusion that everyone is out on a long vacation.

The thought turned out to be more damaging than helpful. The more he kept thinking about it, the more it crept towards his own parents. The shield that used to keep him ignorant towards them was now shattered.

They were dead.

Troy was dead.

Everyone kept dying and it was all his fault. He could have been a better son and a better friend. He could have reacted faster when he still could have helped his parents. He could have gone with Troy that day – maybe then he could have prevented everything somehow.

His eyes burned. He remembered that Coden was still there and started blinking rapidly. Not in front of someone. Unfortunately, he was noticed.

"You know," said Coden, "if you're still willing to look into that stranger we've seen and all, I'd like to help."

Layne raised his eyebrows. "Are you trying to distract me?"

"What? No," he answered just a little too fast for it to be believable. "Though distracting yourself doesn't seem like a bad idea. It's been weeks, Layne. You can grieve, but you can't keep yourself stuck like this."

Layne clenched his teeth and stayed silent to keep himself from blowing up on him. It was easy for Coden to talk, he thought. That kid didn't know what he was trying to push himself through.

Upon thinking for a little longer, however, Layne decided that doing something else rather than staring at Troy's dog for days could be of benefit.

"Ok," he said. "We'll start by finding out what really happened to Troy."

"Layne, no." Coden shook his head. "That's not what I meant."

"Well, that's what I mean. Let's go, I know where to start."

* * *

The man he was looking for was out in the fields, together with a few other people who looked tense, maybe even scared. Just by looking at them, Layne could tell they were new in the Land. It was weird to think about – he never considered new Rejects coming in after them, even if he knew that'd be happening.

The man, the same one who asked Layne and Troy for help that day, didn't take long to notice him looking.

"Layne, what are we doing?" complained Coden. He was still catching his breath after trying to catch up with him through their search.

"That's the guy. He's the main suspect, or at least the starting piece."

"Main suspect? What a hell, Layne? It was an accident."

Layne snapped his head at him. "Have you ever watched TV, Coden? There are always those people saying 'it was an accident', and then they find out that it, in fact, wasn't."

Coden's shoulders dropped, he didn't say anything else although his face said that he still wasn't on board. Layne kept watching the man, not trying to hide it, until he left the group he was with and approached them.

"And I thought you'd never come." Layne forced himself to grin, as fake as it must have looked.

"May I help you with something, again?" The man looked at him with a puzzled expression. Layne wondered if he had forgotten their previous conversation or was just trying to be overly polite.

"It's about Troy," Coden interrupted before Layne could say something unfriendly. "We were just wondering if you... Knew something, by any chance. Or noticed anything unusual."

"Of course you were." His voice dropped. "Look, I'm sorry for what happened to your friend but there's nothing to it. He stayed out at night, and well, you know why it's not a good idea."

"Except that it's bullshit," Layne fumed. "Unless something happened, there's no reason he would have just stayed out like that."

The man raised his head higher. "Is this an interrogation?"

"No," Coden assured him, although Layne was prepared to disagree. "We just- we're trying to understand what he could have been thinking."

"I can't help you with that, I'm sorry."

"Did he talk about anything or, um, did anything unusual?"

"No, absolutely not."

"So if I would have accepted to help you, would I have been the one dead?" asked Layne in a casual manner.

The man took a step back, his expression showing pure disgust. "What the hell? Are you blaming me for what happened to your friend?"

"Oh, no, I certainly wouldn't."

"Layne, we should go," said Coden. "You're going too far."

Layne gave Coden a strict look. He wasn't finished. The man, however, turned his back at them. "Go find something more useful to do. Playing detectives ain't gonna bring your friend back."

"Damn asshole." Layne clenched his fist. Coden snatched his hand and pulled him away.

"Okay, enough," he whispered, "you're shouldn't be starting fights with someone close to Victor right now."

Layne didn't have another choice than to give in. Coden was, after all, right. Victor was probably looking for a reason to banish him.

"That was a fucking failure," he complained as they were walking back. "I know he's hiding something. He was disappointed when Troy offered to help him instead of me."

"Maybe you're looking too deep into this."

"Well you wanted to distract me, so congrats, that worked. I'm distracted. Very much distracted."

"Okay, okay."

"Excuse me?" Stranger's voice from behind startled the two men. Upon turning around, Layne discovered it belonging to one of the new Rejects he saw in the group. He was looking directly at Coden. "I think I recognise you. Are you Coden Haslett, by any chance?"