Cowboy Casanova

Chapter 47

"Nope. She's never really been a part of your life." He says. 

"Have I seen her any time recently?" 

"No. You don't really want to either." He explains. I can tell he regrets saying it the moment he says it. 

"What do you mean?" I ask. 

"It's just... complicated." He tries to explain. I can tell he wants to end this conversation quickly. I still want answers.

"No, it's not." I say, getting angry. 

"She's back into the drugs and everything, honey. She just bails on everything whenever you'd set anything up. I mean, you weren't even sure if she was in town, because she just moves in with whatever guy she's with at the time." He explains. I feel like I should defend her, but I don't have the energy at the moment. Maybe my foster mom was right. Maybe she is just a druggie. 

"Okay, I got a file!" Kendricks runs in a hour later, breaking the thick barrier of silence that has been created between Tim and I. "I haven't looked at it yet, because I figured it was classified information." He says, handing me the file. My head hurts to much to read it. 

"I can't read it... My head hurts." I say. Tim takes it and starts reading it to me. 

"Sarah Beth Hendricks, born November 21, 1988, five pounds four ounces..." He stops reading for a moment. "premature stillbirth." He says, voice crackling. He clears his throat as I shut my eyes to prevent tears. "That's the day you were raped... They must've rushed you into labor..." He says quietly. Kendricks shakes his head slowly. 

"Man..." Kendricks says. 

"What do you mean rape?" I ask. Tim covers his eyes, then massages his jaw. 

"You were raped, and stabbed and left for dead in an alley. Scott came and found you almost 24 hours later." Tim says without much emotion. He looks at me with a stern expression. My jaw is dropped as I cover my mouth. 

"Why?" I ask, freaking out on the inside. 

"Is there ever a reason for rape?" Kendricks says. I shake my head as I feel tears fall down in steady streams. 

"What the hell happened to me?" I cry. Tim avoids eye contact with me. I completely breakdown and curl into a ball. Kendricks excuses himself from the room, as Tim takes his seat. I feel him run his fingers through my hair as I feel him lay beside me. He pulls me in close to me and begins to hum. 

"Say exactly how you feel. Right now you're free to say it all. There is no one here to judge you, I only love you. You're free to close your eyes and fall. You can trust me, this is real. Say exactly how you feel." He sings. My chest feels warm as his voice calms me. He rubs my back and stops singing. 

"You okay?" He asks softly. I nod through tears. I have no idea what to say to him. 

"When did I meet you?" I ask quietly. He smiles as he continues to run his fingers through my hair. 

"1990. You were drinking with Jen over Scott, and you needed a ride home." He laughs. "You passed out in my backseat before you gave me the address, so I took you to my apartment, and carried you upstairs. You woke up trying to stab me with a spoon. Great love story." I can't help but laugh. It sounds like something I'd do. 

"When did we get married?" I ask, finally calming down. 

"1996." He says. 

"We dated for 6 years?" I ask. He shakes his head. 

"We dated for about a year. We dated for like a week in 1990, then I left you while you were sleeping and never called back. Then we got booked for a tour together in '95, so we got together and got married later in '96. Shortly after, we had Gracie, our oldest daughter. Then, we had Maggie a year later, and Audrey in 2001." He says. "We just had Emily in 2005." 

"They have pretty names." I say. 

"Yeah, you picked most of them." He says. 

"Did I?" I ask. He nods. "huh..." 

"So you don't remember past 1988, then right?" He asks. I nod. "We can have some real fun with that." He says. 

"What do you mean?" I ask, moderately confused. 

"You have no idea of what amazing things have happened to you the last few years." He says."I can tell you all the exciting stuff." He adds. 

"Like what?" 

"You have a record deal." He says. My heart skips a beat. 

"What?" I say, helplessly smiling. 

"You're one of the top singers on the planet." He says. I shake my head.

"That's impossible..." 

"Well I guess nothing's impossible." 

"Who do I have a deal with?" I ask. 

"Warner." 

"Holy shit!" I say. He laughs. "Do you have a deal?" I ask, thinking about his incredible singing voice. He nods. 

"With Curb." He says. My jaw drops. 

"Wow." I say. He laughs. 

"Surprising, I know." He says. He pulls out a small device from his pocket and begins going through it. 

"What's that?" I ask. He looks at me and down at the device before laughing. My face remains straight and serious as he gasps for air. 

"It's a cell phone." He says. 

"Don't those cost a fortune?" I ask. He begins to laugh again. 

"I think this one was about $40, so sure." He continues to laugh as a video plays on it. It's of us singing together at a concert. 

"How does this play on here? It's tiny!" I say, still amazed at the advance of technology. He laughs. 

"Just watch the video." He says, smiling. I watch it, hearing us both singing. We harmonize effortlessly. It's almost like we are in sync. At the end of the video we share a kiss and bow to the crowd. 

"That's us?" I ask. He nods. "The crowd looked huge." I say. 

"Well, I mean we do both have our share of Grammy's to help attract some of them." He says, picking at his nails, pretending like it's no big deal. 

"No... No freakin way." I say. He smiles at me. "How many?" 

"You have 5, I have 3." He says. I gasp and feel light headed. 

"No..." I say in disbelief. 

"Yes." He says. 

"Wow... We hit it big huh?" I say. He laughs. 

"Yeah, I guess we did."