pages- harry styles (au)

eight

(dedicated to tess because i love tess)

I stood and watched in complete amazement as one by one our tiny dorm room started filling up with a never ending supply of Louis Vuitton suitcases. While the luggage was piling up, my roommate - whose name I learned to be Lea - was sitting down and complaining about how the campus didn't offer larger, single rooms. 

"No offence," she said. "There's just not enough room for all my stuff."

"None taken," I said. "It's the complete opposite for me, there's too much room for my stuff."

"Could I like use your closet then, I could even pay you in clothes because," she paused long enough to eye me up and down, "you could really use a new wardrobe."        

Right at that moment, I imagined myself marching out of there, straight to the admissions office and demanding them to get me a new roommate. My feet stayed planted on the floor and my butt stayed glued to my bed however. I tried reassuring myself that Leah would be an okay roommate. She looked like the kind of girl who would be out all the time; partying, shopping, flying to Paris. I convinced myself she would probably only use the room for sleeping and changing. 

"Emily" Leah demanded loudy, even though I was three feet away.

I ignored her, not because I didn't like her, but simply because my name wasn't Emily. 

"Emily" She demanded again,  but louder this time. 

I just stared at her. 

"Who's Emily?" I asked in the most innocent tone. 

"You"

"My name isn't Emily, its Emma. E-M-M-A" 

"Oh my god, whatever. You know what I mean, same thing" she spit.

"Anyway" I sighed, "What do you want" 

"Stick my box of scarfs up in that empty space in your closet" She demanded. She didnt even say please.

I walked over to where the box was, and looked at Leah to see the annoyed look on her face wipe away and turn to amusement as she thought I was actually going to put her box away. But instead of grabbing the box, I grabbed my purse on the floor next to it, threw Harry's journal into it, put my lucky boots on, grabbed my jacket, and stormed out of the dorm. I turned back around for a fraction of a second, which was long enough to see her jaw drop the the floor.

The second I took a step outside, the frigid air hit my body and i suddenly remembered it was January, so I threw my jacket on and hugged myself for enough seconds to regain body heat. Once I was warm enough to move, I pulled out my phone and checked the time. It was one pm, meaning Drew must've forgotten about breakfast. Sighing, I pulled out the campus map and found the nearest cafe. I just needed to read.

-

"Hi, welcome to Jitter Bean Cafe, how may I help you" said a shorter girl with an obvious forced smile.

My eyes scanned the menu for something warm. And something that would soothe the growing hunger pain in my stomach.

"A BLT sandwich and a caramel latte please"

"Is that everything" I nodded, "Okay, $8.75 please"

I handed her a $10 bill, and she handed me $1.75 back and a sign with the number #18 on it.

"We'll call your number when your order is ready" 

"Okay, thanks" I picked the number off the counter and found a comfy club chair next to a fireplace.

I sat down and took out Harry's journal, opened it and read it for the first time in weeks. Slowly my mind forgot about my messy life and found its self tangled up in his.

"January 10th, 2013

Abby-

Yesterday was your birthday. You would have been four. I'm almost positive I know what I would have got you to. Remember when you were two and you really wanted that doll that could talk, and you could feed it and everything? Yeah, well that's what I would have got you. The reason we didn't get it for you when you were two is because you were too little to even know how to feed yourself, let alone feed a doll.

I'm doing good, still. Actually better than the last journal entry, because I got my test results back for my short story thing on "Why its important to pay attention to everything", and I got a 87. So that's good, I have attached it if you want to read it.

I flipped the page and taped on it was a tattered piece of paper. 

"She was my everything; my lack of sleep, my happiness, the reason I took two Tylenol a day, and most of all my beautiful baby girl. My green eyes werent nearly as bright and lively as hers were. She brought happiness and joy with her everywhere we took her. I swear that whenever it started to rain, she made the sun shine. There were no bad days when she was around, only good. Everyone was happier when Abby was there, me and Charlotte fell in love even more after she was born. It was only short lived though, three years after she was born, they found her body floating down a river. It was all my fault too, I let her get away, I wasn't paying attention. And although I didn't physically put her in the river myself, I had a big part in doing it. That's why its important to pay attention all the time, and not just when you are supposed to be babysitting your daughter, but to everything. The way butterflies look when they get pollen from flowers, or how the sun looks when its hiding behind the clouds. Memorize what it looks like to see the person you love asleep, and the feeling you get when they wake up and your eyes meet yours for the first time that day. Pay attention to it all because one day it could all be taken away from you"

A silent tear slid down my face as I remembered all that Harry had gone though, but my mourning was interrupted by a loud ding.

"Number 18, your order is ready"

I put the journal in my purse, and walked up to the counter to get my food.

-

I finished the sandwich in what felt like seconds, but the caramel latte was still half full.

I opened the journal once again and jumped back into Harry's deepest thoughts.

He'd journal about everything, from what he had for lunch to his deepest most depressing thoughts. The journal was beautiful, Harry was beautiful. I was in love with his words, and maybe a little bit in love with Harry himself.

A raspy deep voice cut me off from my daydreaming, "Love, are you done with your pla-"

He stopped talking as my blue eyes looked up and was met with sparkling green eyes. Beautiful, familiar green eyes.

"What do you think you are doing with that?" The stranger said as he grabbed the journal out of my delicate hands.

"That's mine!" I said, knowing it was a lie, as I snatched it back.

"No its not," he retorted, as he grabbed the book from my tiny arms once again and walked away.

Then suddenly, realization settled in, and it dawned on me that was his journal. And that he was also the man I was madly in love with.

My heart began to pound so loud, I swear everyone in the small cafe could hear it. I couldnt breathe, I found myself lacking oxygen. Harry just walked away though, journal in his hand, he walked in such a way you could tell he was angry but there was also a hint of something else is his march; boldness. My dishes still sat on the small table, untouched.

I tried to yell his name out, anything, but I was in such a paralysis state, it came out as a quiet whisper.

"Harry"

gif on the side (or above if you are on mobile) of emma aka dianna agron reading in the cafe :D so ive decided to do longer chapters and longer waits for chapters, anyway please vote and comment  like please vote im almost up to 500 votes, and tell people to read and i really enjoy feedback so just comment will you, anyway ily , and oh harry is here too if you didnt know -hope