Less Than Alive: Still Kicking

Stores: They Go Boom

“Ah, uh, nah, I can’t,” I said, scratching at the nape of my neck.

She perked an eyebrow at me, then trotted across the room. “Already have a club in mind? Or is it a level thing? What are you at, anyhow?”

“Um, yeah, I might have something in mind.... B-but it’s going to fill up fast. I should probably get going....” So, why didn’t I tell her what level I’m at? Maybe it’s because I’m vain and stupid. Maybe it’s because I still have a shred of pride hidden somewhere. Maybe, just maybe, it’s because I didn’t want to look bad in front of a cute young lady. Especially not the one that can tear trees apart with her mind.

“All right! See you during the next club meeting, Tighty. Oh, and bring a hoe. You’re not going to get any action here otherwise.”

Blinking back at the maybe-intentional comment, I nodded again, said my goodbyes, and zipped out of the club-room.

As I ran down the pathways, I took some time to think and came up with a single solid lead: my life’s a disaster, but it could be much worse. Now, I only needed to find an easy-going club to pass the time in. Something easy and not hard and also easy.

The cool forest with bright beams of warm light descending from above did wonders for my restless spirit, and I soon found myself somehow enjoying the thought that I would spend time here every few days.

I ran out of the greenhouse, not even looking behind me as I rushed towards the nearest entrance into the school. Why the rush? If I started to like this place, I might be disappointed if I have to leave for good. Better to be ready for the worst.

As I moved ahead, I was not exactly fixated on where I was going and walked into one of the many entrances leading out of the courtyard and into the school.  And, of course, I walked into the worst possible place ever. My dead-run slowed to a jog as I found myself surrounded on all sides by chittering and chatting students. Students that looked really, really good. They held their heads high, displaying professionally groomed hair and strutting around like they were well aware of their physique, which I'm sure they were. These were people whom I would have little trouble imagining as the sons and daughters of big-shot tycoons.

The logos under their crests weren’t of the gardening club or some other low-level hole; these snobs were members of the highest ranks. Clubs like the Advanced Magics Division and the aforementioned Robotics Engineering club. I’d stumbled into the hive of the upper-levelled students.

They didn’t seem to notice me; after all, our uniforms were identical. But I still felt alienated, as if their smiles and quick bouts of odd humour were above me and that they were better than I would ever be. These kids had a future and, statistically, I didn’t.

“Wedgie!” a gratingly familiar voice called through the corridor.

Heads turned, poking out of lockers and staring between myself and the young lady that had called to me.

Like a succubus looking for prey, Black Ruby trotted down the corridor, boys and girls moving out of her way in a parting wave. Much to their surprise, and a little to my own, Black wore a brilliant smile as she approached me.

Did I mention that she was hot yet?

The boys were laying out a carpet of drool wherever she stepped, and the cruel look that some of the girls were giving her as she passed made my blood curdle. But she moved on, ignoring them as she sashayed to me with her curvy hips bouncing from side to side beneath the hem of her short skirt. “Wedgie! I knew I would run into you, eventually,” she said, her docile smile turning wicked. “I see you joined the Gardening club?”