DREAM REALITY # the open novella contest 2019

Leaving the Hospital

It was almost Christmas, there was no snow on the ground. I sat in a chair looking out the window, waiting for Dr. Gaile, twirling my long black hair through my fingers. 

Everyone I see going by outside, another normal day for them. For me though it is anything but. 16 of December 2017, my birthday. For the last 5 years I celebrated them inside the walls of Crittenton behavioral health center.

"Christina are you ready for our session?" asked Dr. Gaile. 

"Yes I'll be right there" I said. "Dr. Gaile, when are my parents supposed to be here?" 

"They should be here around 2:00" he answered. 

I looked over at the clock and saw that it was only 11:27. I'm scared to go home, I've been here for so long now that its all I know. 

As we got to Dr. Gaile's office, he began the session like usual by asking how I'm feeling. 

"I'm scared to go home" I answered. 

"Why" he asked? 

"I've been here for so long, I'm not sure what its going to be like when I get home" I said. 

"I can certainly understand your anxiety,  5 years is a long time to be away" he said. "Is there anything I can do to help ease some of this anxiety" he asked? 

"I'm not sure there's anything you can do for me right now, I think I'm just going to have to go home and get used to it" I said. "But thanks for the offer." "I was wondering though, I don't remember why my parents sent me here to begin with, can you tell me why" I asked? 

"No" he said. "Your parents were very adamant that they did not want me to tell you that, but you can ask them that later on." "I just want to remind you that we will still be talking after you leave here today" he said. "I am planning on meeting once a month." "Remember I'm only a phone call away if you need to talk to me before then, if your feeling stressed or overwhelmed." 

"That was all that I wanted to talk to you about today, is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about" asked Dr. Gaile?

"When I leave here I will have to find a job" I said. "How do I explain to them where I have been for the last 5 years, and not make myself look crazy?" "What do I tell them when they ask why I have been here?" 

"I can't give you all the answers Christina, that is something you will have to figure out" he said. "I can tell you though that most employers will understand and will not discriminate against you for being here." 

"I guess im just scared." "I don't really know how to do anything" I said. "I have no work related skills." "I know that since I have been in here I did manage to do the work load and graduate high school, but that does not really help me in the job market. Does it?" 

"You just need to find somewhere to start, there is no right or wrong answer as to where that is, for me that was college, for you that may be finding a job" he said. "Just remember that you can do anything you set your mind to." "A lot of people will find a job they can work at while they go to school." 

I find myself looking around the office in silence. I don't really focus on one thing for too long. Suddenly I hear Dr. Gaile.

"What's going on Christina? Are you all right?" "You zoned out for a few minutes there" he said. 

"Yes I'm fine" I answered. 

"Anyways that is all the time that we have for today, I look forward to seeing you back here in a month" he said. 

I want back to the spot I was sitting before I went in to meet with Dr. Gaile. I find myself staring out the window, watching as cars come and go. I don't remember what kind of car my parents have, otherwise I would be looking for it. 

I'm trying to imagine what is going to happen next. What will they say? What will I say? Will they be happy to see me? Do they still love me? Will they learn to live with me again, or will I have to find a new place to go? All these questions, and I cant answer any of them. 

Every time my parents came to visit me, we were in the office with Dr. Gaile. They would hug me and told me that they loved me, but how can I really know for sure when I don't really know them anymore? Our conversations always included Dr. Gaile. We never talked about anything personal. I can only really remember talking with them about what was going on with me, how I was doing here. 

I must have zoned out again, there was a tap on my shoulder, I jumped. The orderly told me that my parents were here. I looked over at the clock, 1:45, early as usual. just like everything around here, my visits were scheduled in advance. I never knew my parents to show up less than  minutes early for our visits. 

Dr. Gaile came out of his office and approached my parents, and motioned over for me to come. 

"How are you feeling dear" my mother asked? 

I shakily answered, "fine I guess." 

My mother handed me a bag, and said, "here put this on." "Your father and I are going to talk with Dr. Gaile for a moment." 

I went into the restroom and opened the bag, it was a beautiful black dress. I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror and then back down at the bag. I knew my mother would pack makeup in there as well, she wants me to look my best when I leave here. 

I finished getting ready and left the restroom, I knocked on Dr. Gaile's office door. 

"Come in" Dr. Gaile yelled. 

As I entered the office again I started to feel a little uneasy, both of my parents were starring at me. Before I knew what was going on I felt arms around me, my mother got up first and hugged me, followed by my father. I looked over in the direction of Dr. Gaile, he just sat there with a half smile on his lips. I could only guess that he told my parents what I told him earlier about being scared. 

After a few seconds my parents let go of me and sat back down, I had a seat next to my mother. 

"Thanks for the clothes mom" I said, not knowing what else to say. 

Dr. Gaile said "I want to see all of you back here next month, so I can hear from each of you how things are going."