I Didn't Mean It (sequel to It Was an Accident)

11

Derek

Yelling at Stiles was the worst possible way Derek could have responded the day before, and he knew this the second the words came out of his mouth, but he was only human. His sister coming home from college meant he had to explain what had happened because apparently Laura had no idea. This, of course, opened more wounds that Derek didn't want reopened. He was already miserable having to relive what he had done, and when Stiles showed up saying all of those things about not forgiving him, Derek lost it. He didn't mean anything he said. He wasn't done trying. Not by a long shot. He wasn't, however, going to chase Stiles, because he knew him and he knew Stiles wanted to be left alone for a while after a fight. 

"Do you have everything?" Aiden asked, throwing his bag over his shoulder. "Wanna wait a little longer to see if he shows up?" 

Derek sighed, zipping up his backpack. "No, we were supposed to leave an hour ago. He's not coming," he mumbled. He couldn't blame Stiles for not wanting to talk to him, but he still had the slightest bit of hope. "Let's go, before Erica send a search party."

"If you say so," Aiden gave in, following Derek out to the car. They shoved their bags into the trunk and Derek slammed it shut as he heard tires in the drive way. Hopeful, he looked up. He was equally shocked and estatic to see Stiles' familiar blue jeep. "Hey, look who showed," Aiden said with a lopsided grin. "I'm gonna go call Lydia. Give you guys a minute."

"Thanks," Derek answered with a small smile. Aiden nodded once and then disappeared inside the house. Derek shoved his hands in his pockets as Stiles jumped out of the jeep and slowly made his way over to where Derek was standing. "I didn't think you'd come," he admitted, biting the inside of his cheek. He planned what he would say if Stiles did come, but those words were all escaping his head now.

Stiles bit his bottom lip, seeming a little nervous. He didn't hold eye contact very long. "I didn't think I would either, but here I am," he muttered, his voice a little shaky. "I left yesterday with zero intention of every talking to you again. I told myself that if you were done trying, then so was I. Moving on just didn't seem like something I could do, but I was willing to try after last night."

Derek felt his chest tighten at the thought of Stiles moving on. He didn't want this to be the end. "I'm not done," he said, but it came out as no more than a whisper. "Stiles, I didn't mean what I said. I have no good reason why I acted the way I did, but I didn't mean it, okay? Please don't say this is it. . ." 

Stiles stared at his feet as he rolled a rock under his foot. "I think it has to be," Stiles sighed, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes. "I think, if you'd ever been cheated on, you'd understand why I can't be with you anymore. I don't deserve a lot, but I sure as hell deserve more than this. I deserve to feel loved, and with you, I just feel betrayed. I feel like I can't trust you, let alone be in a relationship with you."

Derek knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help but feel angry. He tried to stop himself from showing it, but he couldn't. "I made a mistake, Stiles. I'm not the only one who has ever made a mistake."

"I didn't cheat on you," Stiles said through his teeth, finally making eye contact. If this was going to turn into a fight, Derek wanted to stop talking. He didn't want to leave while they weren't on speaking terms. "Nothing else to say?" Stiles provoked, making Derek's fists clench. "Come on, Derek. We haven't really fought. Not both of us, at least. It's either been me yelling and you apologizing, or you yelling and me crying. So let's fight, get it out of our systems. Tell me what you've wanted to tell me. Defend yourself. I know you want to."