Stabbing The Moon. My Life Story

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I was born on June 27th. That making me an early Cancer. I was, fortunately born in the United States. Despite being born here I was raised most of my childhood in Mexico. I attended a private school during kindergarten, in which time my dad was in Germany. As soon as my other sister was born, my mother stopped and sent me to a public school due to my little sister. I wasn't very cheerful to be in the private school so I was eager for the transition. I didn't quite understand how kids played out there in the free, as my first time being in a public school I was pretty positive about it. The first day of first grade was a very joyable day, such as the rest of that year. I hung out with somewhat nice friends. It was only a group of five. Me, my sibling (they're genderfluid so I'm using neutral pronouns), a pair of twins, and my another friend. We were close friends and we made everything happier. But it wasnt until the next year my life became a nightmare that kept hunting me down.

Early 2011

By this time I had clearly seen how I planned to spent all my years on elementary. Unfortunately this was the worst year ever for me. Let's go back to the first days of school in second grade.

I was about 7 years old then. I remember being super excited to see my friends again! However when I stepped in the school the first memory I remember is my friend, (one of the twins lets call him jake) said that (my other friend that isnt the twin nor my sister lets call her jessie) fell of the monkey bars because some new girl in the same grade pushed her and she is being taken to the hospital. I was shoked. I remember being so scared about jessie that i didn't eat that whole week. All of us were real worried about her. One day, a few weeks later that same girl who pushed jessie off (lets call her france) started making like a kids gang, whoever chose not to join her was getting bullied by them. I never did join them. Instead I declined and called her "dumb" (what an insult huh?). Since then and from that point on I was "a fatty hoe". (I have a medical illness were I can either gain weight real fast or loose it real fast. However, that wasn't detected until Later so I was fat back then.) I ignored them. A few weeks we got a card from Jessie.

"Jake, (my siblings name), Chris, (the other twin. Lets call her Jena). I love you. Keep having fun and don't get mad over little things. Ill be back soon I promise..." (this has been translated from spanish not exact same meaning but close to it) A week later, we got the notice. Jessie had commited suicide in the hospital by cutting off her oxygen mask while unsupervised.

I was more than shocked. I was crushed. Why?how? I cried all night and day for a few weeks. Everyone was calming down. AI couldn't. I still can't believe why. She promised us she would be back soon. But that wasn't happening anymore. Everyday in lunch I sat there. In the old monkey bars. Where she'd last been seen in school.

A few months, almost on christmas break my twin friends moved to the city before the one we lived at. I was internally breaking down. I didn't quite understand, but I had the message. I was alone now. Although the twins and me comunicated over texts I lost contact with them a few years later. I felt alone at school. I still stayed at those monkey bars. Every other kid said it was cursed and never did came a foot across it. The bullies never stopped. It didn't matter to me. They were all fucked up kids to me. They were someday gonna end bad anyways.

In case you were wondering that it was just "friends" and "drama" and I was "too young" these friends apparts from my sibling were the only people that understood me. They never called me by my deadname. I was me with them. They were the only I spent cheers with for a few years after. This was the most minor trauma I've experienced. It hurts nothing more.  Other things hurt more to remember.

And when my life did rip in pieces was that winter break. It has been until now the worst memory of mt life...