The Permutation

Breakthrough (Part 12) Christopher

    "She doesn't want to see you, she needs time."

    "Well, how much more time does she need? I have been patient for three months, and now I'm better."

    "We'll let the courts-" she stopped, interrupted by another, softer voice.

    "It's okay mom, I'll talk to him."

Kate.

    Christopher's heart hurt at the sound of her voice. Although she decided that she no longer cared for him, he was not sure that he would ever stop loving her. She'd been the first person to look past his idiosyncrasies and look to the person within, and she was also the first person that didn't make Christopher shudder at their touch. That's when he knew she was special, and he would always want her in his life. He never envisioned a scenario where that wouldn't be the case.

    "Christopher, please don't make this any harder than it already is," she said using the voice that meant she was trying to explain something to him he didn't understand.

    "I'm not making this hard. I'm just standing here," Christopher replied.

    "You shouldn't be standing here, I don't want her to hear your voice. This has been difficult enough.. She just stopped crying everyday because she wants to know where daddy is."

    "Please Kate, she needs me, and I need her. Just five minutes and I'll leave you alone."

    "She's always needed you Christopher, but you're incapable of being there for her when you can't even take care of yourself. I was always the one who had to explain to her when you get in your obsessive phases and ignore us, that you still love us. It's too much for a five year old to handle."

    "But I'm better now," Christopher said, a necessary stretching of the truth, "I've been seeing a therapist, and I have a job now. I'll show you and then you guys can come back."

    Christopher heard a heavy sigh and the disengagement of the locking mechanism. The door swung inward and Kate stood before him. She'd never looked more beautiful. Christopher wanted to embrace her in a tight hug and spin in circles like they used to, but he restrained the urge.

    Kate stood at five feet and ten inches of height, tall for a woman. She gave Christopher a smile that did not reach her eyes, and he was reminded of the perfect asymmetry of her face. When she smiled, a dimple would appear on her right cheek. Christopher used it as an indicator whether or not she was happy with him. Today, the dimple wasn't there. Kate enjoyed pulling her hair into a neat bun and inserting chopsticks, an affectation Christopher always found mysterious. He admired the mystery in her actions, but her normally pristine bun was in shambles with stray bits of errant hair poking out. Chopsticks were nowhere to be found.

Something is wrong.

    "Five minutes," she said tapping her watch, "Gracie is upstairs."

    Christopher stepped into the house, and Kate's mother stood to the left, blocking the entrance to the living room. Christopher did not need to go into the living room, because the stairs were to his right.

    Now that he was here, his heart beat even faster. He could almost feel it thumping against his sternum. It had been so long since he had seen her, and he didn't know how to react. He hoped that she didn't hold what happened against him. It wasn't his fault.

    Christopher counted the number of steps as he ascended. There were twenty-three of them. That was good. Prime numbers always gave Christopher some degree of comfort, and he equated it as a good sign.

    The upstairs consisted of a hallway and three separate doors. Christopher assumed that one of them was a bathroom, and that the other two were bedrooms. Two of the three doors were shut, and the ghost of reflected pink light outlined the third door, and Christopher knew that was Gracie's room.