Cigarette Smoke // FILLIE

Frustration

m i l l i e

"It's nothing that concerns you, Finn." I reply as I try to avoid eye-contact, instead focusing my view on the ground.

His knuckle gentle lifts the edge of my chin so that I come face to face with his freckled beauty of features.

"Yeah? What makes you so sure?" He asks softly, his presence so close to mine that I can see every brown speckle that lays on his pale skin.

Ignoring his features, I remind myself what this conversation is even about along with the frustration that comes along with it.

Through that frustration I push down his hand and let my mind do the talking, "Because I can decide for myself what I think you have to know and I don't think you really have any business in knowing about it."

I force myself to turn from him as I stride a few steps away from him and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"You know if you don't tell me I'll figure it out on my own, so you might as well spare yourself the anxiety now, right?" Finn reasons from behind me.

I shake my head out of pure doubt, "You won't figure it out."

He finally lets out a sigh as he takes a step closer to me, "Why won't you just tell me? You haven't kept anything from me before so what's so special that you can't now?"

"You already have enough on your plate as is, Finn. Not that I'd really know anything about, since you never tell me anything." I remind as I turn on my heels to face him.

"I don't tell you for a reason and you know that reason and you understand that reason. What's your excuse? How come I don't know your reason to keeping whatever it is your keeping from me, Brit?" The boy fires back, the hint of hurt in his voice would be enough to make me crack if it weren't for the own hurt I felt already.

"It's different."

"I wouldn't know, would I?"

"Why do you care if I'm keeping something from you anyway?" I say quietly with enough attitude to let him know I mean it.

"You know why, Brit."

"Do I?" I ask desperately as I throw my hands up lazily.

"Don't you?"

Pressing my lips together, I shrug defeatedly and let my thoughts transfer to my lips, "To be honest, I don't know anymore, Finn."

His eyes stay lowered as I wait for a reply, really any type of response to ease my frustration and feeling of defeat towards ever compromising with the stubborn boy he is.

Letting out a scoff at his silence, I let myself wander away from him.

"You're everything." He admits from out of my view.

"What?"

"You want to know why I care so much, don't you?" Finn asks softly with a hint of curiosity laced through his words.

For the second time, I turn around to see him in his entirety, "Yeah, I guess."

"Well, that's your answer, isn't it?" The black-haired beauty suggests.

I purse my lips in thought until I finally settle on an even agreement, "Alright, fine, I'll tell you what I've been hiding from you but you have to tell me everything you know and whatever you will know about your cancer case."

I can tell he's eager to learn exactly what he couldn't piece together himself by the way he agrees, with one exception.

"Not now, but I'll tell you soon, okay?" Finn promises with his finger pointed to me.