Free Me From the Wolves

[35] Men and Wolves

"Well, I..." Truly I didn't think anything of it. Sure, they both had separate relationships—none that were too bad, but everyone knew they would end up together. Sure, strategically speaking promising the rest of your life to someone you have no idea you can cohabitate with isn't the best idea, but I did the same thing with Ryder. How could I tell him otherwise? "No. I don't think it's odd."

He smirked and then glanced over at me once more. "Alright, well this conversation didn't go as expected," he admitted. I shrugged.

"A lot of people who get married so quickly do it because they're new in a relationship and they're stuck in their honeymoon phase without any hindrances to grow and develop, but y'all are different...you two have always been there for each other threw everything—regardless if you called each other boyfriend/girlfriend in any of that time. So if after this long you still love each other, I say marriage isn't so farfetched."

"I don't know if I'm more shocked that you're some romantic now...or the fact that you used 'y'all' in a sentence so fluidly," he said after a moment of silence. I rolled my eyes because it was from being around Ryder. Maybe it was from being in Tyriette in general, but owing it to Ryder was probably better. "Maybe it's the fact that you're in love with someone and trying not to talk about him so directly."

"What?" I asked with a frown.

"Andrew told me about Ryder."

"And?" I sighed, stressfully.

"And why haven't you mentioned him?" he asked. "Not that I didn't notice him glaring at me when I dropped you off and picked you up and then when he was at the door—"

"What am I supposed to say?" I interrupted.

"I don't know. What normal in love girls say?" he answered. "How you guys met, what he's like, all that unimportant mumbo jumbo that girls swoon over and won't shut up about..."

"Well, he's not exactly the causing-me-to-swoon type, I can tell you that," I partially lied. As much as Ryder made romantic gestures that made me fall more in love with him, I always felt as though I should be stronger and fiercer because of him despite his wolf's need to see me weaker in order to protect me. I shrugged.

"You sure? Because I can tell he makes you happy by the way that your outlook has changed, but obviously something's going on since you're trying to act like it's no big deal that you have a guy wrapped around your finger after two months of being here."

"Yeah a lot of things have been going on," I announced.

"Hindrances to help you grow and develop," he quoted me.

"Precisely," I nodded. "I just don't really know where we are right now."

"But do you love him?" Oliver asked me. I rested my head on the headrest and looked at him.

"More than anything."

"Then I don't see why things can't work out because even Andrew of all people said the kid loves you—that's the only reason he puts up with him, really."

"It's not that simple," I scoffed.

"And why not?" he asked.

"Just because two people love each other doesn't mean it's enough. It's not like you and Iris. We haven't known each other that long, yet we fell so fast and have gone through so much unnecessary pain because we aren't on the same page. Even now, I know he loves me and he cares so much that he just doesn't want to hurt me, but there's a line between staying away as if to protect me and then staying away because he's just a coward."

"Staying away doesn't mean he's a coward," Oliver discounted. "He's just scared of love. From what Andrew told me, Ryder doesn't seem like the type to fall in love because of his reputation or something, but he did. And it scares him because he isn't used to it, I bet. Same case for a lot of guys, actually. They think love makes them weak."

"It's the opposite for him; he's told me," I denied. All Oliver did was laugh as if I told a joke. I rolled my eyes and allowed him to pull over to the side of the airport's terminal. The next time we spoke was when he had taken his luggage out of the car and we loitered around the terminal. I leaned against the passenger side door until he had everything he needed to. But he only dropped his bag at my feet and hugged me around my shoulders. He let go, but kept me at an arm's distance.

"I'm not marrying Iris just because I love her," he announced. "I'm doing it because if I'm stuck in a moment that begs for me to fight for my life, I want it to be because it's a life where I get to go back to her...That's the strength of love. If Ryder really loves you and has the nerve to promise you all that he has, then he means it regardless of how he's acting right now. Sure, ignoring you or getting jealous is an immature thing boys do for their possessiveness, but truly loving someone is a man's job."

I appreciate what he said because it gave me hope. I knew the strength of our bond added to Ryder loving me, but what Oliver said about immature possessiveness made me wonder if it was more of Ryder's boyishness or if it was just his wolf staking his claim being mixed with the fact that Ryder was just a confused teenaged boy. Still, Oliver hugged me once more, but slid something into my hand this time. I looked down and saw it to be a ticket voucher.

"We want you at the wedding," he said. "Use it to go back home for us, or use it to get away and go wherever you want. I just want to make sure you're happy. Honestly I think I'm getting the long end of the stick by dipping out of mine and Iris' newlywed status so soon into the marriage, but I understand how draining relationships can be so if you just want to get away from Tyriette, Texas, here's your freedom."

I nodded. Oliver picked up his bag and stepped away from me.

"And from what I hear from Andrew, your boyfriend is rich, so maybe he'll buy a ticket and accompany you. If he's serious about you and your relationship then we'd love to meet him," Oliver lastly added. I sealed the distance and hugged him once more. This time I gripped onto him tighter because I didn't know if this would be the last time I'd see him or not.

"Love you," I told him.

"Love you too," he said. "Take care of yourself and Andrew and your Aunt Cassandra, okay?"

I nodded and watched him walk into the airport with his confident walk and muscular stature. I was already missing him and his wisdom. I looked down at the ticket voucher. As much as I wanted to be there to finally see him and Iris admit their love to each (even in a grandiose matrimony way), leaving Tyriette would seem like I was giving up or running away from my problems. Maybe it wouldn't seem like that at all, but for me, it was no different than how Ryder failed to address issues. And I definitely didn't want to be like him.

I couldn't understand how Ryder was. He was passive in conflict despite being aggressive in execution. He was insane in his actions yet strategic in his plans. He loved his pack but begged to lose his title. I wasn't like that. It came back to what Oliver said the difference between a boy and a man was, but in this case it was the difference between a man and a wolf. All I knew of Ryder was his love, which accounted for his manhood, but I didn't know much about his leadership or even being a wolf because I rarely accepted the fact that I was a wolf too.

So when I got back to Tyriette, I had passed the town. I drove over to the outer border to the place in which I felt the first instance of even being connected to something as powerful as being a werewolf: 4253 Obsidian Pass.

But when I got there, I wasn't the only weakling stumbling into the sacred Everton residence asking for strength or retribution.