Free Me From the Wolves

[32] Natalie Everton

"So they were right. Marc's brief doubts turned into a building resentment towards Albert for Biting him—even though he wanted it. I believe he was mated to Merida and loved her, but it was his constant questioning of "what ifs" that drove him to the point of true disdain. As Albert checked in on him and the pack over the years, he could identify the tension. He thought it went away as Marc and Merida had Zander and then Ryder, but when Carol got married and Stella was born, we knew Marc was right back to being resentful and wondering what could've happened between them. By that point, Albert already talked to your mother and explained the dangers of what Marc could do if he was so scornful towards him. So he told her to leave for her safety. And she did."

"That's bullshit," I named when Cassandra finished. Andrew had his head in his hands. "I don't care if Marc was unsure of his bond with Merida. I doubt he would kill off his best friend's mate. It's the most sacred bond—more important than pack loyalty."

"What is pack loyalty to lone wolves? What is true imprinting to the Bitten?" she reasoned, making it seem as though respect for those bonds weren't easily seen to those who they don't apply to. "Say what you want about Marc, but he doubted his own imprint so much that he killed his Maker in order to see if it would wash away and it didn't. A Maker to a Bitten is another important relationship—let alone considering Albert was his best friend. You don't know what he could've done to Natalie in spite of it all."

"I understand him questioning his imprint," Andrew suddenly spoke up. "I'm a bloodline and I don't even believe it one hundred percent because I'm not experiencing it at the moment. But Marc broke an Escape being loyal to Ashlynn through his son's imprint on her..." Andrew lifted his head from his hands and stood up. "So I'm not going to sit here and believe my dad and Natalie thought Marc would do anything when he so clearly believed in imprinting regardless of how smoothly his did or didn't go." Andrew was angry. "I see Ash and Ryder fight for their relationship no matter what shit is going on so I don't believe a mate would just give up on her family so easily."

"It wasn't easy—"

"Oh yeah? Well even if it was hard for her, I didn't see any attempt or effort for her to rejoin us or even attend Dad's funeral...or mine for that matter," Andrew interjected before leaving the bar and heading towards his room. Cassandra shot me an apologetic look before following him. I was glad she did because I immediately got down from my tall chair and go right upstairs, feeling streams of tears escape my eyes before I could make it through my threshold. But when I did enter my bedroom, instead of being able to throw myself onto my bed to cry all night, I found Ryder pulling himself through the window.

Great. Another thing I didn't want to deal with.

I immediately wiped my face because even though the mere story of my parents broke my heart, I didn't want to cry in front of Ryder to make him think he had any effect on me on how he's treated me this week (or what happened with Zander tonight). But I knew for a fact that some of these tears belonged to him from being pent up so long. It posed another reason why I didn't want him to be here.

I really wanted to ice him out like he did me, but I couldn't even glare at him because I was so emotionally drained, but after simply looking back at me with an emotionless look on his face like once before at lunch after Stella slapped me, it took him maybe two seconds to crack. His face melted into the embodiment of utter concern and he took three steps towards me in order to pull me into his chest as he coiled his arms around my shoulders.

At first, I thought I would resist the embrace, but I don't know why I'd be so foolish. As soon as his warmth hit me, I wrapped my arms around his torso and sobbed like I needed to. Ryder, being the alpha that I had only seen cry one single tear, I assumed would hug me only slightly and passively suggest for me to get over whatever the issue was, but he only clutched onto me tighter the more I cried. He even kissed my head and tried telling me it was okay—not even knowing what I was truly upset about.

Or maybe he did. Maybe in my weakness, he read my mind and memory to recount all that Cassandra had told me and decided to put whatever problems between us behind because at the end of the day, he knew I was breaking down right now. In my right mind, I wouldn't be completely okay with that, but right now I would appreciate it if that's what it was. But I still wondered.

I pulled away from him and wiped my face while noticing the wetness on the front of Ryder's grey shirt, but he only put his arm over my shoulder and ushered me to sit down on the bed beside him. Once I sat down, he dropped his arm and wiped one side of my face from escaping tears. He searched my eyes in the process before tucking strands of my hair behind my ear and then pulling me into him once more, where I could continue to cry on his shoulder. I latched onto him, trying to stop the idiotic crying, and then felt his hand on the small of my back, making circles as he tried to calm me down too.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered. "It's alright. You're alright. I'm here and it's okay."

"It's not okay," I denied. I then heard the front door slam and I knew it must have been Andrew storming out. "Everything's messed up and it can't be fixed. Not by my dad or yours or my mom—"

"Hey, hey, hey," Ryder said, pulling me away to cup my face within his hands. "What's going on?"

I didn't even know where to start. Not with my parents. Not with his. Not even with us. But I did notice something in contrast to it all.

"Ashlynn, talk to me," he pleaded. "What's going on? What can I do to help you?"

"Tell me why mating can't work for a werewolf and a human?" I finally asked. "Not for your parents or for mine. The bloodline, the Bitten—it doesn't matter. Imprinting and mating is inevitably screwed up if one of them is a wolf and the other isn't and they don't care about what it does to anyone else but themselves. Just tell me why it doesn't work for them."

"I can't," he sighed. I knew that I was being melodramatic about this, but that's what it ultimately came down to. My parents mated and changed not only the pack's authority, but also Marc's life, mine, and Andrew's. Marc's imprint left him in some lover's limbo that dictated the events that we were faced with until this point in our lives (and his death). A werewolf's impulsivity with human self-preservation was disastrous. But maybe I was wrong. And when Ryder added to his response, I knew the disastrous dynamic was passed down to us too. "Sometimes it doesn't seem like it works for two wolves mated together either."