Make it Work | WonHyuk (Eng. Ver.)

Four

The exhibition is beautiful.

I see this painting in shades of red and lose myself in the colors and the feelings that it tries to show. Minhyuk is concentrating by my side, seeming to look exactly like me, but I don't know what he's thinking.

"It looks like love" he whispers.

"Just because it's red?"

"And because it's a mess" he gives me a big smile.

"Love is not a mess."

"But makes it inside us," he looks into my eyes. "It's a pretty mess, don't you see? You can't see where the lines start and end, but it's intense and it's ... Free."

I look at the painting again. Turn my head to the side, noticing that he is right about the details he noticed.

"You said you love someone, didn't you?" he says softly. "Couldn't you recognize the feeling at the moment you looked there?"

I don't answer. What I felt and recognized as love was intense, for sure, but I wouldn't consider it a mess. It was very clear in my head, actually. I liked Hyungwon since high school and it took him a long time to notice and reciprocate me. We started dating and we had our problems in the middle of the road. We broke up a few times, but made up soon because we didn't want to be apart. We got engaged after six years together and after six months with the engagement sealed, things started to get weird. Just after two years with the new status, he told me how much everything between us no longer worked.

"We don't even know each other anymore, Hoseok," your voice choked out, but you held yourself so you didn't cry. "We've changed too much, grown and become too different. We don't talk anymore, and don't even share our lives with each other. And I know ... I know you expect things from me that I can't give you. I've tried so much, but I can't."

That was a mess to me. The idea of ​​getting married and living forever with you, Hyungwon was the only certainty I had for years and being without you makes no sense. But as I remember your words, I'm sure that love never seemed to be synonymous with freedom for me.