Smoke and Soot

Soot

Soot
Christmas of 2017

Exactly 365 days later, here I am in the same place, doing the same thing. I rested my back on the edge of the kitchen top, drinking fruit punch out of a pretentious red cup. 

And when I said I was in the same place, doing the same thing - I also meant doting over the same girl, exactly 365 days later.

"Talagang pinanindigan mo 'yan ha? Red cup ka nang red cup tapos fruit punch lang naman ang laman," she said, stifling her laughter.  Sharlene was sitting on the same kitchen top as we both wait for the cupcakes she had been baking in the oven.

I scrunched my eyebrows together and gave her a look before I replied. "Halos masunog na bahay niyo last year pero nagtangka ka pa mag-bake ulit." I took another sip from the cup just to irk her some more.

Her only response is a loud laugh. The laugh I like hearing so much.

Yes - this Christmas is definitely better than the last. Sharlene and I eventually and easily clicked together, and by eventually, I mean after I got used to her calling me "pogi" to annoy me.

She was key in helping me adjust here... in catching up with the fast-paced life and straightforward opinions of the city people.

But trust me, the probinsyano in me remains - even Coco Martin would be ashamed. I can't, for the life of me, keep my heart still whenever Sharlene and I would share a moment. 

And I also can't, for the life of me, tell her how I feel.

The party music in the living room and the restless chatter contrasted our comfortable quiet.

We stirred in our silence, which was only broken by the ding of the oven. Sharlene jumps down from the counter and takes the steaming cupcakes out. Settling the tray down, she takes one and blows on it gently. 

"Oh ayan, patunay na 'di ako madamot kahit inaaway mo ko parati," she said as she draws the cupcake closer to my face to feed me.

A little panicked at the gesture, I dazedly take a bite and only managed to nod along when she asked if it tasted good.

"OK ka lang? Tulala ka ah," she asks - to which I gave another nod as I chewed. She squints her eyes at my reaction and shakes her head lightly, smiling. She returned her attention to the cupcakes, taking it off of the tin container and placing it on a holder.

I couldn't help but stare.

I only stop once Miles, Sharlene's best friend, dragged her out of the kitchen because apparently, an emergency was up and I wasn't invited. I finish placing the cupcakes in the holder to busy myself, and once I was done, I carry it quietly onto the living room.

I look around because I had a plan in mind. A few days ago, I learned from a friend that there are mistletoes all over the ceiling - like, everywhere. So when the countdown starts, they just stay close to the person they like, ready to share a kiss.

So that was it - that was the plan. I just need to find where Sharlene is and stay close. And maybe, just maybe, I get to confess after a chaste kiss. Ah, the hopeless romantic in me is about to jump out. 

After a while of fruitless searching I found Iñigo, Miles' boyfriend, chatting with some of our university-mates.

I tap his back to catch his attention.

 "Oh, Donny! Si Sharlene ba hanap mo? Nasa fireplace sya, ewan ko anong ginagawa nila ni Miles d'un," he says, not even needing me to ask. 

I merely replied with a thrifty "thanks, pare," and went off to its location... and there, I see, is Sharlene's head and torso inside the (unlit, of course) fireplace. Miles is by her side, also sneaking a look inside.

"Anong meron d'yan?" I ask, breaking their full-blown concentration to the task at hand.

Unfortunately, my voice surprised Sharlene too much and she bumped her head when she tried getting out. 

"Putangina naman oh," she starts, looking distressed in every way. She soothed her head and gave me an irritated look. She was covered in soot - her face covered with black flecks from the ashes in the fireplace.

"Donny naman! Halos maabot ko na 'yung mga susing nalaglag ni Miles, eh. Nangugulat ka."

Just as I came closer to check if she injured herself, the people around us started counting down to ten. I spared a quick look and all I saw where couples grabbing each other, making sure they get to kiss someone by the time midnight kicks.  I'm no genius - but I'm pretty sure my plan won't work because of the sudden turn of events. I spared a quick look and all I saw where couples grabbing each other, making sure they get to kiss someone by the time midnight kicks.

"Kusina?" I ask, wanting some alone time. I offer my hand out.

Wiping some of the soot away from her face, she uses her free hand to accept, and I intertwine our fingers.

In that kitchen, that Christmas, I didn't get that kiss.

But wiping the soot away from her face, things felt... comfortable, romantic even.

"Donny..." she starts, pouting and looking sort of sad. "Galit ka ba? Sorry na agad,oh... Nagmukha na nga akong uling."

I gently shake my head no, and I give her a smile.

"Sigurado? Sumisimangot ka, pogi..." she asks, teasingly now. She lays a finger on my face, sharing the soot and spreading it across my nose.

I can't help but smile harder, as I fell harder for her.

We shared a laugh at the ridiculousness of our Christmases. Together.

"Mad? Never," I wanted to answer. I wanted to say more, maybe try out that kiss, but realized that I needed more time... and that I can always try next Christmas.