• DIVORCÈE •

Part 2

Another baby?! My eyes widen as I try to control my emotions. I want to laugh, no, shake my head, perhaps even scream at him, or maybe even agree with him. Another baby. My eyes shoot to our little girl as the thought lingers. Another baby. We did create a beautiful girl. My Scottish mixed with his English-Gpysy messy genes. Another baby would be more than I've ever wanted - Evangeline was not planned, seeing as I wasn't ready to have a child. Especially with being a teacher, all I see is children. I wasn't too sure if I even wanted one myself.

Oh God. But being pregnant was the most rewarding thing. And giving birth was something that was unbearable yet gratifying.

I can fill my mind twist and turn as the aroma of the bread in the oven fills my nostril. Pulling me away from Thomas and his dangerous idea.

I spin around and head to the oven. Listening to Thomas ask Eva if she wants a sibling. My little girl babbles on about the teddy. I can feel my fingers shake lightly as I reach for a cloth and pull down the down the oven doors.

My bread is ready, fully lifted and golden browned as I shut off the gas and watch as the fire within the oven turns off. It's an oven from the dark ages, I'm sure but it does the trick.

I make sure to turn the stove off as well, moving my hot pot of stew to the counter.

"Can I stay for dinner?" He clears his throat, his voice vulnerable.

Thomas never sounds vulnerable. And he usually never asks to stay for dinner. He knows well enough that he shouldn't push it with our daughter. Thomas never comes to see her this late, he's always here in the day time. So that in the night before she goes to sleep, the memory of her dad is a fragment put into her brain. And still not lingering.

I wonder what she'll do today when he leaves us. She'll probably have a fit, kick and scream, perhaps even get a fever.

But Evangeline deserves to spend as much time with her father. Lord only knows how much time Thomas will have on this earth.

As my mother said to me, you ought to seize the day.

"Yes." I croak, unable to face him. "Get Evangeline ready will you?"

I push my hair from my face, trying my hardest to control my breathing.

Another baby? My chest rises and falls quickly as I try to picture a sibling for her. She'll be a wonderful older sister.

I pull a plate with food, one that Eva and I will share. The stew smells of beans and veggies my little girl hates, but I'm hoping his will do the trick. Just as it did for me when I was a child.

I take the full loaf of bread with me and walk towards the dinning table. Thomas knows which chair is Evangeline's. It's a little higher up, it costed me a bloody fortune.

"Her bib," I tell him once I drop off the food.

Thomas looks up at me, raising an eyebrow. "Her what?"

I break into a smile. Remembering his various forms of looks of dismay. When Eva was born Thomas wasn't well equipped with anything related to babies. It was Polly who mainly taught him everything. He couldn't even change a nappy without having a full on fit.

Jesus. I need a smoke! He once annouced in a groan as he cleaned Eva, he was disgusted by the fact that she had taken a poo that smelt and looked rancid. Don't get me wrong, I was gagging at the scent, and the colour but you got to do what you got to do.

I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked over his towering body, using my shirt to cover my nose, I squinted my eyes and scrunched up nose. Our infant baby was joyful that she was being changed. You can do it, love.