Am I Happy ???

Chapter 2

After constantly crying for 45 fucking minutes  I hear my phone beep. I looked on my phone screen and saw Amelias message. It read:

"Check your Instagram girl "

I quickly checked my Instagram and gazed at the photo with a shocked expression. It was Andrew's post. He posted a photo of us on Instagram and tagged me with a caption saying:

"She said yes @ashley30
Thank you for coming into my life."

This literally gave me a minor heart attack. Now all my friends and cousins know about this. When he proposed to me no one knew about this except Amelia. The worst part is Andrew is so happy about this. He is so committed to me.

 
I got up from my bed and saw my pillow. It was all wet  like it had drowned into my ocean of tears. I wanted to cry more after seeing Andrew's post  but I realized that I had no more tears left. i got up from my bed and saw my reflection on the mirror. My face looked dull and my eyes were fully  red due to tears. I was not in a good condition but then again I thought that I deserved it .

Suddenly I  hear my phone ring. I saw  Andrew's name flashed on the screen. I didn't have any energy to talk to him but I had to. I couldn't just ignore him.
I took a deep breath and answered the call.

"Hey" I said.

"Hey how's my wife to be" he said in a cheerful tone.

"I am good and you?"

"I am awesome. You know Ashley I have never been this happy in my entire life. I am so grateful for everything. "

He said the most sweetest words a girl could every wish for but  those words were like a dagger on my heart. This makes it more difficult for me to hurt him.

"I am grateful too." I said in a fake voice.

"So I have planned a lot of things regarding our wedding but I want your opinion too . So I was wondering if we could discuss about it tomorrow."

Andrew and I work at the same office. He was the one who asked me out. Ever since then we got along really well. Everyone in the office knew about us. Since he has posted about the proposal on instagram I am damn sure everybody knows about that too.  I don't know how will I be able to face Andrew and other people in the office tomorrow. Everybody will start congratulating us and I will have to greet them wearing a fake smile. Being fake in front of people is the most exhausting thing to do. So I thought to come up with an excuse.

"Uh... actually I....um I can't come tomorrow."

"Why?"

"I am a little sick so I want to stay at home."

"You are sick. Are you okay? What happened?" He said with a worried tone.

"Don't worry. It's nothing. It's just minor fever."

"You have fever. Do you want me to come over?"

"No there's really no need for that."

"Okay but please take care of yourself and take antibiotics."

"Ya I will. Don't worry."

"I will call you tomorrow to check in."

"Okay."

"Okay bye. Love you."

"Love you too."

As soon as the call ended I sat on bed wondering how messed up my life is.
I want to tell Andrew the truth but he's just so happy and he loves me so much. I am not going tomorrow but how long am I going to run away  from this.

 I have everything in my life a supporting mother, a caring best friend and a man who loves me more than anything else. The only thing coming in the middle is my happiness. i am just not fucking happy. So many thoughts were spiraling in my head.

I don't know what am I going to do. I just needed to talk to someone about this. The  only person that I could think of was call Amelia.
 I dialed Amelia's number and told her about everything.

"What are you doing Ash? Why are you dragging this thing. Just tell him the truth."

" He will be devastated."

"So are you just going to pretend that everything is normal."

"I guess."

" You can't do that to you Ash."

"I have no other choice."

"Yes you have. I know you are afraid to hurt him but you can't be fake to him. Sooner or later he'll know."

"Okay fine I'll tell him the truth, just not tomorrow."

"Okay fine and listen if you don't tell him I will."

"Fair enough. I will talk to you later. Bye."

"Bye."

I went to my bed and slept still lost in my thoughts. I was so depressed that I didn't even bother to eat my dinner. as i shut my eyes I  prayed to God to make my life at least a little less complicated then it is right now.