The Way We Feel

Chapter 33

"Oh, there you are," she said when she heard me and looked up.

I kissed her on the cheek and hoped she wouldn't say anything more after I said, "I know I'm late."

"I was worried. You weren't answering your phone," she was saying as I headed inside, holding the door open for her, "And I didn't know if I should go in, or if I should wait. But then I couldn't remember your doctor's name anyway, so I couldn't tell what floor she's on."

I pressed the button for the elevator, breathing heavily, sweating more than I wanted to be from the heat, and her voice was already grating on my nerves.

"I figured you weren't answering because you were on the subway, but of course, my mind went to worse things, too. Like you were hurt or lying somewhere in a ditch or—"

"I just got stuck at school, Mom. And the subway took a little longer than expected," I said, trying not to sound exasperated as the elevator doors finally opened on our floor.

"I thought that might've happened, too," she said, following me onto the elevator, still talking as I pressed the button for the third floor. "But then I thought that since you scheduled the appointment, surely you would've given yourself enough time between finishing up work and arriving on time. But I suppose as much as we try, some things you can't plan for."

When she finally stopped talking, I didn't bother responding.

I was afraid to set her off again.

"So, how exciting is this, hm?" she said then, as the elevator came to a soft stop on the third floor.

The doors opened as I tried to summon my excitement. "So exciting."

We walked down the hallway, and all of my focus was on finally getting into the office when Mom said, "Well, you could sound a little more excited, Madelyn. It's not every day you find out the sex of your first child."

I sighed and stopped just outside the door, knowing she was right, as much as that annoyed me.

"I'm sorry," I said, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment. I was still breathless from rushing here, my insides felt like they were all twisted up in irritation, and I was hot and sticky from my short, but hurried walk over here from the subway.

Not to mention Harry wasn't here.

As much as I was grateful to my mom for stepping in, I really wished he was.

"I'm just... It's been a rough day, that's all."

Mom's brows nudged together in sympathy. "Are you missing Harry?"

"No, I—I mean, yes, but it—it's not—"

"I understand, honey. I'm sure you'd much rather he was here with you than me."

"No, that's not it, I—"

Of course I missed Harry. I always missed him when he was away. Even if it was only for a few days like it was this time. He was in L.A. for a couple meetings, and he'd only left two days ago.

"But he's coming back tonight, right?"

"He is," I said, feeling like I was running a race on a treadmill. "But my missing him doesn't mean I'm not happy to have you with me. I'm just—I'm just weirdly annoyed by everything today."

"Oh, so it's not just me annoying you? That's a nice change of pace."

Her smirk made me smile.

Laugh a little. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she said, then shrugged. "I'm used to the hostility."

"Love being known for that," I quipped as I opened the door to my doctor's office.