The Way We Feel

Chapter 13

It was strange being back here, staring at the countryside from the wrong side of the road. I smiled to myself as I looked past Harry, who was totally focused on the highway ahead of us. The last time we were here, we were getting married, and the trees were bare, the sky was that grayish-white that suggested the possibility of snow, and the air was cold but tremulous with potential. With excitement.

The air was warmer now, but no less tremulous. The trees were green and full, the sky was bright and blue, the sun was shining, and snow was a distant memory. But our nerves were similar to how they'd felt last time. Because yes, we were nervous, but we were more excited than anything else.

Harry caught me staring at him and smiled, his hand reaching over the console for mine.

I laced my fingers through his. "I'm so glad we could get here."

His smile widened. "Me too. Only another twenty minutes or so now."

I took a deep breath, excitement zinging through me as I returned my gaze to the scenery outside the window beside me, even as my attention narrowed and spiraled inward, to the baby growing inside me.

My free hand went to my belly, still flat, no real changes to be seen. Not for the first time, I wondered what it would feel like when it grew. What it would feel like when my hand met a round bump. I smiled to myself at the thought. On some level, this baby still felt like my little secret. A private, beautiful, wonderful little secret that belonged to Harry and me and no one else.

In the greater scheme of things, that was true. We hadn't made it all the way to England without notice. We'd been spotted at the airport in New York by some of his fans, and by the time we'd reached Heathrow, the paparazzi were waiting with their cameras at the ready. But none of them knew the reason for this visit. The entire world was on the outside of our little bubble of happiness, and I didn't know how long we'd be able to keep it quiet, but I hoped we could do it as long as possible. Because I liked that only we knew the truth—only us and my family.

And now, his family would know, too.

It had only been a few days ago that we'd told Mom and my brothers. Since neither of us had much going on these days—Harry was able to go into the studio when he wanted to, and I hadn't been working since the wedding—we were able to pack a couple bags and get a flight out pretty quickly. We had to be back in New York for my next appointment next week, but I was glad that we would be able to tell Anne, Robin, Gemma, and at some point, Harry's father, Des, the good news in person. It didn't feel right to tell them any other way.

I glanced into the backseat, comforted by the sight of the small, nondescript gift bag I'd so painstakingly picked out back home. It was a shimmery gray, and the tissue paper sticking out of it was plain white—nothing to indicate what it held inside. My plan was to tell them it was just a little something we thought they might like to have in the house, and/or a thank you for having us over on such short notice.

Harry had said they wouldn't necessarily buy that—"They're our family, why would we bring them a gift to thank them for having us over?"—and he had a point, but I didn't know what else we could say. I'd been wracking my brain the whole flight over. I never was able to sleep on flights, but I knew I was going to be especially tired tonight after all this anticipation was through with me.

"It's still there, Mads," Harry said, and I could tell he was still smirking before I looked over at him. His pink lips were indeed lopsided when he glanced at me, and they stayed sort-of pressed together as he said, "Just like it was five minutes ago."

I hadn't even brought a carry-on with me on the flight, just so I could make sure the present wouldn't get crushed. I'd shoved all the stuff I might need into Harry's carry-on instead.