Sentinel Academy

A decision made

"Why didn't you tell us?" I flung open the kitchen door.

Mom and Dad were seated at the kitchen table, steaming cups of tea sitting in front of them. Mom had her head in her hands, and Dad, Dad looked defeated for the first time I'd ever seen.

"Mom?" My throat closed and my voice came out a whisper.

Mom lifted her face and I nearly staggered at the weight of her gaze.

"We couldn't tell you, Ily, because we didn't know."

Dad just stared at us, dark brown eyes nearly black. "Nathaniel just said that his destiny was unfulfilled when he appeared and the stars forgive us, we simply accepted that as truth."

I fumbled my way to a chair and sat down. The sense of betrayal screamed louder. What else had he done?

"Thaniel," I trailed off, not knowing what to say or how to say it.

"I couldn't go, Ily." My brother stood in front of me, his expression stern. "You..." he bit his lip, his eyes flickering to the side briefly before returning to fix on my face with unsettling intensity, "you would not have been the same even if you survived it. I couldn't let that happen to you."

My old companion, guilt, reared up its fugly head again. And now it asked, what else had he promised, just to stay with me because I couldn't live without him? Me. It always came down to me. If not for me...

"Don't be stupid, Ily," Thaniel snapped. "I keep saying it and you keep ignoring me; what makes you think I would have been all right if you had died that day instead?"

I turned away. Thaniel had always been the stronger one. My elder brother. The one who strode ahead, fearlessly charming the world.

"There are different kinds of strength, Ily," my mother murmured. "If you truly believe, as you've been saying all this time, that you and Thaniel are a whole, then you should believe him."

"You should believe me anyway. I wouldn't lie to you," Thaniel grumbled.

"Except about this!" I cried.

He flinched.

"Ily," Dad warned.

"Dad," I whimpered.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I can't fix this," Dad's voice broke, the guilt like a knife to my gut. He'd said almost the same thing, word for word, that day when he came out of the surgery room, his scrubs ironically pristine because he wasn't allowed to operate on Thaniel and could only watch.

"She said Thaniel would be sentenced to the hell where they pull your tongue out with heated forceps if he reneged."

Mom flinched, the movement shaking loose the tears standing in her eyes.

"Ily!" Thaniel pinched me.

I threw my hands up in the air. "She needs to know! I know I would have wanted to know! How could you, Thaniel? How could you keep this from us for this long?"

"Because it would have accomplished nothing except more pain!" he shouted. "Look. Look at Mom and Dad and you now. Do you think it would have been better if I had said something earlier? You would just have been more crippled by guilt that you already are!"

My head snapped back, but he wasn't done.

"Do you think that I don't notice? That you spend all your time with me instead of dating? That you are careful to the point of insanity, just in case something happens? What should I have said, Ily? Oh hey, so, they're going to come for me in ten years, just so you know, because I traded my afterlife for the chance to grow up with you? How the hell would that have been better?"

"You couldn't say something before I had to hear it from Ms. Creepy Sexy Lady? You couldn't have given us a little bit of a heads up?"

Warm arms wrapped around me and I turned my face into my father's embrace.

"Shhh, Ily," my father soothed. Warmth spread through me and my breathing evened out.

I exhaled slowly and looked at Thaniel.

"Okay. Okay. I'm okay now." I wasn't, but what was a little lying between family?

Thaniel grimaced. "Unfair, Ily."

Well, if he didn't like that, he was going to like what I had to say even less.

"I'm going with Thaniel and I'm staying with him for as long as necessary."