Something Lost (Original Draft)

Chapter 35: Old Wounds

I sighed, "Alexander ordered it, and you weren't home, so I left you a letter explaining where I would be. Had I known you were going to pull a drunken late night visit, I would have left my location out of that letter."

"Ha-ha- ha... you think this is funny, don't you? You have no idea how much you've wounded me by your-inconsiderate behavior."

"No, in fact I don't believe this is amusing, not at all." I too was wounded by how careless he was with his accusations.

"You should have told me in person, Alanis. Even I know there's something more going on. I want to know what happened, did you request to leave? Did you?"

"Of course not... as I stated in the letter it was an order by Lord Alexander. But if you must know the reason, it's because he told me that a woman carrying a title must be betrothed before she can live with a man," I replied while walking to my room, I wanted to grab something more concealing than the robe I was wearing.

He sprang in front of me, stopping me from progressing. His drunken stare melted giving way to something else, concern. And mixed within it was a look - the look that I needed from him earlier, a look of desire.

"That's ridiculous... this isn't your home Alanis."

"Excuse me."

He pushed me back with his reply, "You don't belong here."

"Oh, and where do I belong, James?" I questioned as he drew near, cornering me against the wall. Suddenly, I regretted asking that question, it played all too well with the tension that was growing between us. I bowed my head, but his hand quickly rose to my chin, lifting it so I couldn't hide from his stare.

"With me." He leaned in aggressively to steal a kiss, but I shoved him away and began my walk back to the room.

"You're drunk. You don't mean that," I whispered bitterly under my breath, as he followed behind me. "We're not even a couple."

He flew in front of me again, just before I reached the bedroom door. "Why are you acting like this? You haven't acted like yourself for the past three days. Talk to me... please."

I replied crossly while slowing my pace, "And you haven't either."

I thought about all the times we had been apart in the past several days, no doubt they weren't all spent alone on his end. That thought was a vicious thorn of jealousy that I wasn't used to. It made me angry for no reason. "You're acting like this is some sort of personal attack on you. I didn't choose to move out to hurt you, it was an order... I care about you too much to want to hurt you like that." My walk stopped and I waited patiently to hear any reply he would give.

"Then we should be together, as a couple. You don't have to stay here alone. You will come back with me and I'll take care of you as I promised. I'll even marry you, whatever it takes," he stated casually, like the whole marriage thing was merely an afterthought.

Why would he say that, was he a fool? He wouldn't even kiss me earlier, now he wanted to marry me. He was a fool. But fool or not, he made me stop and hesitate with a reply. And he took it as a sign, that I was willing, that I was considering it, even when I wasn't. I could see his shadow fall into mine as he stood behind me. He pulled me back, and I sank into his embrace just as our shadows had. His hand glided through my hair pulling it gently to the side exposing my bare neck. His warm breath sent a blaze of goosebumps across the naked flesh that was concealed under my robe.

"So-do you want to?" He asked with his lips crushed against my neck. I could barely hear what he asked, but I could read the question like braille as it vibrated across my tingling skin.