Secrets

Chapter One

"Momma, when you go to work can you take me to Cyn's please?"
"Kiera, I don't have time baby. I'm already running late. Call and see if Miss Johnson will meet us, if not then I don't know what to tell you honey."
Immediately, my stomach turned. Damn, I really hope Miss J answers her phone. I have exams tomorrow, I cant afford another sleepless night. As I rushed into my room to retrieve my cellphone my mother continued getting ready for work. I really hate that she's picked up third shift, she's always tired and it seems like her work is never done. Every since she's started her new job she seems a lot more stressed. She doesn't even ask me how my day is going, or check my grades anymore.
"Ki! What did Miss Johnson say? It's almost 10pm, I need to be walking out the door in less than 5 minutes!" my mother yelled from the living room. I walked into the living room with my overnight bag and grabbed the keys off the table.
"I guess she said yes." my mother said as she rolled her eyes and grabbed her lunch out of the kitchen. Once we got in the car, we rode in silence for about 5 minutes. Finally, my mother asked,
"How are those grades young lady? I hope they're good or someone's sweet 16 won't be so sweet. You have 2 weeks to right your wrongs."
"Ha, you must have me confused with your nephew Ma. I'm aiming for A honor roll this quarter. My lowest grade is 92 right now, hopefully this exam does me some type of justice tomorrow." I said with confidence.
"Oh, so your sweet 16 is looking like diabetes?" she said followed by a loud laugh.
"Oh my God Ma! You are so lame, just let me out the car! There goes Cyn right there."
After finally catching her breathe from her lame ass joke, my momma unlocked the door.
"I love you baby girl & I'm very proud of the young lady you're becoming. Good luck on your exam, even though I know you don't need that. Come give me some love so I can jet." she said, smiling with her beautiful hazel eyes glowing. I love making her proud, she's always been my biggest supporter and best friend. As I hurried to the other side of the car, my closest friend Cyn yelled,
"Hey Momma B! Have a good night at work, drive safe!" Another way of telling me to hurry the hell up.
"I love you more mommy. Thank you, that means a lot. Let me go before Miss J calls Cyn and starts tripping, you know she doesn't play when it comes to her car." I said laughing. As I transferred my bags into Miss J's car, I watched my mother's Nissan disappear. Suddenly, I received a text. It read: "WHERE R U??" My heart dropped to my feet in an instant. I quickly deleted the message, and turned the radio on. Once we arrived at Cyn's house, I spoke to Miss J about our favorite TV show, took a shower and joined Cyn in her king sized bed. After Cyn was positive that her mother was asleep, she sat up and we began our weekly routine. We pulled out our journals and began to write our goals for the week, studied for our exams and laid back down. After laying in silence for 30 minutes, realizing that I was traumatized... I finally let out my new secret.

"Cynthia?" I said as my heart raced.
"What's up Ki... what's wrong?" she said sitting up, now alarmed because I called her government name.
"I'm scared."
"Scared of what? Girl, you are too old to be scared of the dark. I'm not getting up to turn on the lamp."
"I think I'm pregnant Cyn." I said as tears began to roll down my face.
"Bitch, we got school in the morning. Take your ass to sleep, its 2 in the morning. Why do you want to play?" she said laughing.
"No, Cyn... I'm serious." Once she heard my voice crack, she jumped up and turned the light on.
"What do you mean? How? I'm your best friend and you didn't tell me that you gave up your cookies? Bitch, you are fake as hell. I'm wide awake now, give me details! Who? When? Wh---"
"I didn't Cyn, that's why I didn't tell you." I said as I broke down.
"Huh?" she said looking confused.
"He took it. He waited until my mom went to work and came into my room, beat me and raped me." I lifted my shirt, revealing bruises the size of baseballs, my only proof. Cyn's mouth dropped to her knees.
"Oh my God, Kiera are you ok? When did this happen? Who did this?" she asked, as she attempted to comfort me. I sat on the bed, speechless. Unable to wrap my mind around the fact that I was now a victim. Finally, the tears stopped.
"For the last 3 nights, I've been in and out of sleep. Horrified, unable to rest in a place I'm supposed to be the most comfortable at. The place I call home. For the last 2 days, I've found myself crying in this the mirror. Asking myself, "What did I do to provoke him to come onto me?" Wondering if maybe I need to change the way that I carry myself, wear loose clothing, maybe even pin my hair up, rather than wearing it down. Wondering why me? Constantly questioning myself, hoping and praying that this nightmare is just that, a nightmare. Waiting for someone to come wake me up and tell me that this is all just a bad dream." The tears began to flow like a waterfall onto my favorite sweats.
"Ki, you cant blame yourself. He, whoever this guy is, did that because he's a sick individual. Please don't beat yourself up over this. Just tell me who it is, we can get him off the streets now! The clean way, or we can get down and dirty. Just tell me who Kiera and we can handle it." my childhood friend said with tears in her eyes.
"Please, don't tell anyone. I'll talk when I'm ready. You're the only person that I've told."
She starred at me for a few moments, then finally agreed to trust me. I extended my arm, to complete the hand shake we'd created when we were 8. This way I knew she wouldn't tell, to us, our hand shake held more value than swearing to God.

Beep! Beep! Beep! Damn. There's no way in hell it's 6am already. I laid in bed wondering if I really needed my education at this point.
"Y'all asses better be ready to walk out that damn door when 7:00 comes! Get yo ass up Cynthia! You not missing a damn day, not even if your life depended on it!" Miss J yelled from the kitchen.
"Momma I'm up! Dang." Cynthia said as she threw covers off of her and stomped into the restroom.
About 2 minutes later she returned to retrieve her towel.
"Man Ki, get up. I know you hear Momma bitching about nothing. C'mon, we gotta get ready." As I stood up to stretch, I noticed Cyn staring at me.
"What?" I asked.
"You alright? You feeling ok? You know I'm here for you, right?" Cynthia said, filled with concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just get ready, I call the upstairs bathroom." I replied. She stood there staring, making me uncomfortable. I glanced at the clock on her wall. 6:10AM.
"Move girl, we're running behind." I said as I quickly grabbed all my morning necessities and ran upstairs.  As I let the steaming hot water run through my long wavy dark brown hair, I closed my eyes and began to think about my day. Suddenly, I heard something fall. I gasped.
"Who's in here!?" I quickly grabbed the shampoo bottle, and held it like a baseball bat. Then I moved the shower curtain and peeked out, to see that my phone had fell off the sink. Nobody. "Damn Ki, you trippin'." I said to myself as I began to lather my smooth caramel skin.
"Kiera baby? C'mon out now, breakfast is ready." Miss J said speaking through the door.
"Alright Ma, here I come." I said as I turned the water off. I brushed my hair as fast as I could and let it hang down, so it would dry quickly. I threw on my favorite hoodie and some sweats with my favorite Jordan's. I looked at the time once again, 6:37AM. I ran downstairs and joined Cynthia's family for breakfast.
"Wow Kiera, I've never seen you dress down so often before. This cold weather must really be getting to you, huh? I'm used to jewelry and vibrant colors. I guess a lot changes with the seasons." Mr.J said, jokingly. Little does he know, a lot did change this season. I let out a fake laugh and continued eating my French toast. Then there was an awkward silence. When I looked up, everyone was staring at me. I took a sip of my orange juice and excused myself. Everyone quickly returned to gorging their food. I walked into Cyn's room to grab my backpack and returned to the kitchen to grab a few snacks. Again, they stared. Suddenly, I felt my stomach drop to my ass. Why the hell they keep looking at me?
"Umm... Is there something on my face? What'd I miss?" I asked.
"No baby. You didn't miss anything. You girls ready for school?" Miss J asked as she got up from the table, grabbing the keys.