Drunken Night

Drunken Night's Pain

It was a late night in December, rain dropping down from the sky was like a friend trying to relax me. The pain running down my spine was an alarm as I find myself staring outside the window,  wrapping my arms around myself in a poor attempt to warm my cold shoulders.

The night was still young yet it felt like I've been awake for a whole night. I was tired,  trying to hide my tears from myself. Because I knew if I saw myself and the tears he had made would only destroy the walls I've built for myself.

I bit my lip staring at the photos I was clutching in my hands. My eyes stared at the handsome boy that used to make me shiver whenever we touched. He cerulean eyes that froze me on my wake, his godawful smile that made my heart ran a thousand miles per hour, and his awfully attractive and suave face was only shadows in my room.

I lean my head on the window,  feeling the cold glass kiss my skin.

Was I supposed to be okay now?  It's been months since we've talked. But whenever I saw him,  it felt so wrong.

Knowing he was there,  but never here. With me.

Maybe I loved him too much to the point he was choked. Was that even possible?

I gave too much and lost everything.

But I shouldn't be sad,  it wasn't my fault.

It was his.

He broke my heart.

I wasn't the one who slept with another person. I couldn't help this growing pain in me,  maybe it was because I was weak or maybe because I'm tired of pretending to be alright.

I let out a sigh, feeling my shoulders' weight heavily pushing me down. I flopped down my bed,  reminiscing of the time where we stripped down and worshipped each other's body. I remembered how his hands ran down my back. How it made me shiver and whimper. But now, I only see scars and remember pain.

As I close my eyes, my phone rang. An obnoxious tone playing made me grunt,  breathing in heavily as I read the caller's name.

“Your Bae Zachary is calling.”

A bitter smile spread across my face as I answered the phone.

“Hello.” I say,  biting down on my lip.

“Hey... Are you okay?” He asks,  his voice cautious and caring.

“Fine as I’ll ever be.” I said.

Zachary had always been there for me. A confidant that made my days a lot better. I wish he was here, holding me close to his chest.

“Via... You're not okay. It's been what?  Three months? You need to move on. He doesn't deserve you.” He says,  sighing in the background.

Three months of pain.

I've been with him for three years,  and it took him just a few seconds to end it all.

“I am. I promise,” I lied, feeling my heart tie into a knot as I keep on pretending. “Look,  I'm kinda busy with something at the moment. Can we talk tomorrow?”

“Oh... All right. I just wanted to tell you that Hannah and I broke up.” My breath caught in my throat as my lips trembled I couldn't help but feel so foolish. I wasn't the only one going through a case of aching hearts.

“Oh Zach, really? Why?” I said,  feeling my back getting colder.

“Well,  if you must know. She broke things off to go to her “love of her life” or whatever load of crap she said. I'm just happy she said it sooner, we both knew it wasn't really going to last longer. If she's happy then I'm happy.” A heavy sigh slipped his lips as he cursed under his breath. “Any ways,  wanna grab a beer and just... Have fun?”