The Piano Man (Destiel)

Chapter 6: The First Night

This is gonna be the first time I've written something since my suicide note.

"I'm afraid to die but I wanna escape" I write in my slightly sloppy writing after a few seconds of thinking.

"Fold it and drop it in when you're done," Cas says,

After everyone puts their papers into the bag Cas starts, "Were gonna read and talk about them," he says simply, reaching in to pull out the first one.

He unfolds it carefully, "I don't wanna recover." He reads, "I felt the same way when I was recovering... The feeling will go away once you find something to recover for, wether it be yourself or your future..."

Hannah nods beside him, he hands her the bag to read the next one, "I feel like I can never come out," she reads once she unfolds it, "If you're around the right people they should accept you for who you are... If they don't accept you they're not the right people," she smiles while looking around, briefly catching my eye.

She hands the bag back and crosses her legs.

"I hate my mind more than I hate my body," Cas reads, taking a second to scratch the scruff on his chin before looking at Hannah for help.

"Uh," she starts, meeting Cas' eye. "Someday, if you keep up the good work you'll recover and learn to love everything about yourself," she says to nobody in particular.

Cas nods and smiles, looking over at me.

Cas hands the bag back once again, "I'm afraid to die but I want to escape," my anxiety jumps at her words,

"I've heard this many time throughout the years of being a therapist," Cas starts, "It's a common feeling. I don't believe anyone truly wants to die but it's just nobody wants to be here," he gives a sad laugh, looking around quickly, "You don't need to die to escape. You need to find your escape in everyday things, like knitting or... Art..." He pauses, "just don't abuse drugs or alcohol.." Cas adds quickly, his eyes slightly wide. "Once you find a purpose everything will be okay..."

-

After group therapy Cas went into the kitchen with Gabriel again. He said he'd be back to hang out with..everyone for a little while. Now I'm waiting patiently for his return.

"You wanna play Jenga?" Jo asks, charlie, her, and Kevin went to sit at one of the many tables in the room and I sat alone on the couch still.

"Uh.. sure," I say, standing up and heading over to the table with her.

The Jenga tower was already made as I sat down, carefully not touching the table in fear of making it fall over.

"Can I go first?" Charlie asks as soon as I sit down, without waiting for an answer she reaches over and pulls a block off the tower,

I notice there's writing on the block but don't bother saying anything.

This goes on for a while, it finally falls when Cas comes back and scares the shit out of Jo. As soon as she pulls a piece from the tower he speaks up, making her jump.

"Dammit!" She curses, glaring playfully at Cas who lifts his lip in a small smile in response.

"Wanna play?" Charlie asks, gesturing to the empty seat next to me.

"Sure," he says, pulling the chair out and sitting down.

"Rebuild the tower, bitch." Charlie says to Jo, Immediately remembering Cas is a therapist and not a patient. She turns to Cas and mutters a quick "Sorry.." as Jo starts building, a scowl on her face.