Heart

Realization

           

          The next day I showed up to 6th period and Eric wasn't there. I was praying that he didn't show up but, he did anyway. When he sat next to me I didn't even acknowledge his presence. 

          Halfway through the class he whispered "I'm sorry about last night, stuff like that usually never happens to me. I usually don't have sex with..." and I cut him off right there.

          "listen I don't care who you have sex with or where you have sex with them at, its none of my business". he took a moment of silence. "oh sorry, I thought I'd just let you know, that's not me".

          I looked at him and then went back to doing my work. He was silent for the rest of the class. When the bell rang I practically ran out of class trying to get away.

          The next class went by a little easier. But only because he wasn't sitting directly beside me. Halfway through the class I started thinking about what I said to him, maybe I was too harsh.

          Maybe I should have let him explain himself instead of cutting him off. After class I tried talking to him so I could apologize but, he was like a ghost nowhere to be found. I continued looking for him but to my surprise I found him kissing Jennifer.

          I despise her so much, she gets any guy she wants. So easily just because of her looks and rich family. I can't believe we were ever friends.

          As I walked by them Jennifer sees me and calls me over. I walk over to her and she says, "did you enjoy the show last night?" I looked at her than at Eric and he mouthed the words "I'm sorry" to me. I rolled my eyes and walked away.

          That night I went home and looked old pictures of me and Jennifer.

          I wondered what it would be like if she hadn't slept with josh. I wondered if we'd still be friends right now, "you're better off without her... and him."

          That wasn't true but I had to tell myself that to keep from crying.

          The next day Eric and Jennifer didn't show up, I just figured they were getting high and swallowing each other's faces in her room. So, I didn't think much about it.

          The next day they showed up, they had a big argument before class. She stormed off and Eric came into class.

          I looked at him and asked if everything was okay and he said, "can I come over your house tonight?".

          I was very surprised that he asked that. So many things went through my mind. We hadn't even had more than two conversations, why does he suddenly want to come over.

          I asked myself more questions. He finally said "yes? No? Maybe so?"  I got kind of choked up before I replied, "why do you want to come to MY house?"

          He begged "just please let me come over".

          "fine but only you, none of your weird friends, OK?"

          I turned back to doing my work and prepared my mind for the night.

          The rest of the day passed by fast. I went home and cleaned my room, I didn't want it all dirty when he got there. He arrived around 7. When he got there, he threw himself at me and caressed my face, he reeked of liquor.

          I immediately asked, "have you been drinking?". He gestured his fingers as if to say a little. I helped him walk up to my room.

          He flopped down on the floor, he laid there for a while then let out the biggest sigh and said, "I hate Jennifer so much". What he said caught me by surprise especially because the day before he was swallowing her face.

          After a moment of silence, I said "what makes you say that" as I give him a blanket.

          "She is just so awful, and I can't believe I didn't see it before"

          I sighed and said, "you never really see what's bad for you until it's too late".

          He just laughed. As I laid the blanket over him he grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him. He then murmured "I know you're not bad for me" he said as he came in for a kiss.

          I dodged it as fast as I could.

          "Oh, come on you want to and you know it". He insisted.

                 "You don't really want to kiss me it's the liquor talking"

          He became silent then said "you're right, I'm sorry"

          "You're fine I guess" I said.

          I laid down in my bed, silence filled the room for about 20 minutes. He finally broke the silence and said "Thank you"

          "For what?" I asked. "For not turning me away once you saw I was drunk" he said.

          "Only a fool lets a drunk teenager roam around at night" I said.

          It was silent once again.

          Then he said the words that made me wonder if Eric DeMarco was such a bad guy after all.

          "Penelope?"

          "Yes Eric"

          "You're so beautiful"

          I smiled uncontrollably. "Thank you, Eric,"

          "No, I'm so serious, you're so beautiful that it makes my heart hurt" he insisted. All I could do was say "Thank you Eric, goodnight."