Losing it.

1.

That dark pain was in my stomach again. It was like a pit the empty feeling in my stomach. I felt scared. Anxious. I don't know how I felt. I just knew I felt so empty. I haven't eating in 4 days. From choice. Those load voices from the girls in the corridors. The weight I had to hold on my stomach I always kept a guard up. No friends. Friends lead to secrets that they can't keep. No boys. I can't deal with boys just trying to get in my pants. Even though why would anyone want to do that.
I moved yesterday to a new place in wales. It was far away from where I used to live. I didn't like growing up. I had a good life I could say. Till my mum and dad started arguing. We lived in London growing up. I guess what Americans say are right. It kind of rains A lot. Around when I was 13 my parents started arguing other some pathetic things. My dad left.
I never found out why to be honest he just never came back. After my dad left my mother lost it. She was drunk every night and when I was around 14 she started beating me. I had makeup to cover it and my mother bought me everything so no one would be suspicious. We had money a lot of it. But my mother just spent it on a load of shit. I first lived in Liverpool with my mum and my dad but then my mum got pregnant. She gave birth to my little sister about 2 months before my dad left. He left a week before my 14th birthday. My sister is now two I mostly look after her cause my mother's either doing business at her work place or at home being drunk. When my mother lashes out on me I let her. I just make sure my little sister Chelsea's okay. My names Alex and I'm 16. since chelsea was born I looked after her. My mother just gave up on life after my dad left.
At one point I had to take a year off school to watch my sister. My mother almost got arrested from that. When chelsea turned 2 she started full time school which I applied her for. I leave school early to pick her up and go home. That's what happens mostly in my life. I hate talking about my old school life. What's the point. On top of my beatings at home I had to deal with the girl bullies of my school Kate and lexy and Demi they were cunts to be precise. I've had atleast 6 fights that year with them. They can't learn to fuck off to be honest. But now I'm starting a new school. Why am I scared to be honest I don't know. But i start school tomorrow so wish me look.

Hey. Uhh I'm bad at writing as you can tell. Um I just got bored and starting writing this. I doubt anyone is actually gonna read this but if you do. Hiiii😂 um I will start writing chapters when I can be bothered so yeah byeeeee x😂