Finding Our Way

Chapter 3

            "I was lucky." I replied. "I only had to put up with it for a couple of years, some kids spend their lives being neglected like that. I am lucky that a neighbour found me before it could have been longer or gotten worse. I was lucky." I mumbled the last part. I was lucky. Some kids never recover from that. But I got out before it could completely damage me. I was lucky. "It's my turn. Why are you in my room right now?"

            "You were avoiding me, I needed to know what was going on."

            "Nothing is going on, I already told you that." I replied.

            "You're lying. Why have you been hiding in your room all day?"

            "I haven't been in my room all day" I said, defensively.

            "You get what I mean, answer the question."

            I looked down. "I didn't know what to make of last night, I didn't know how you felt about it and I was embarrassed."

            "Why?"

            "Not your question. Why don't you let anyone in?"

            "What do you mean?"

            "Why don't you let anyone see through the walls you build up?"

            "It's not something I like to talk about."

            "Rules are rules, you have to answer the question" I replied.

            "I don't want to be hurt like that again" He mumbled.

            "Hurt like what?"  Who would hurt him so bad that he felt he would have to build up walls? What happened to him?

            "Nope, not your question. Why were you embarrassed about last night?"

            "It was my first kiss, and everyone was watching us. We were pressured into it and that's not how I pictured my first kiss. Hurt like what again?"

            "I was your first kiss?" He seems shocked.

"Yes," I snapped. "Now answer my question."

"I don't want someone to hurt me in that way. No, that doesn't make sense." He looked down trying to find the right words to say. I waited for a few minutes for him to formulate his thoughts. "I don't want to put my complete trust in someone again and they turn around and betray me, hurt me or slowly take parts of me until there's nothing left. I can't have that happen to me again. It hurts to much. I'm still trying to recover from the last time," he mumbled the last part. "How did you picture your first kiss?"

            "I've never given it much thought. I don't know, I guess it would be after going on a date with someone and he was walking me home and when we reach the doorstep, he kisses me goodnight. Typical movie story line. What happened to you?"

            "Wow, you're right, what a movie cliché, be more specific."

            "What happened for you to end up here?"

"I don't know if I'm ready to answer that," he replied quietly.

I felt for him, I really did. But he made the rules for this game, so he must follow them. "You don't really have a choice. You made up the game and the rules, so you have to follow through on them."

He started fiddling around with his hands, avoiding making eye contact. "You can't say one word until I'm done. No one knows about this except Isabelle and the social workers. Understand?"